"cold light"- Nayana Nair

the leftovers of last nightfill my fridge.“never to be ruined”is what i would want to believe.but i do not have the patienceto wait and see.i do not have many things in me-lacking of sorts, but not as deep in feeling.it is fine as long as it doesn’t reach me.it is fine as long as itContinue reading “"cold light"- Nayana Nair”

“mornings break us apart again” – Nayana Nair

she traced the light on my chestpulled out everything that stung-the swings, my feet,the shadow i decided no longer to play with. the comparision table of veins and arteriescopied into my notebook.the eraser and pencil that helped me documentin those tables my lackings compared to everyone else. a page torn, and then another, and thenContinue reading ““mornings break us apart again” – Nayana Nair”

“piano” – Nayana Nair

years from nowi hope my living roomhas a space for a lovely piano.i hope my fingerswould play something beautiful on it.that here i would smileand not know of the passing time.that i would learn to love my wallsas much as the world that stands on the other side.as my child misses me, cries for me,triesContinue reading ““piano” – Nayana Nair”

“Things you don’t care to know” – Nayana Nair

You who took so much space in meyou who created stories in me, put up grand shows of light and shadows in meyou who spent your nights naming every star, trying to claim my sky-at the end,you were too easy to forget. Or maybe sitting in this world where everything is yours,I find it hardContinue reading ““Things you don’t care to know” – Nayana Nair”

“Better Clone” – Nayana Nair

If you were to find a love that could make you complete,I hope you find it with me.I hope I become betterbefore you start looking for this love.So that being myself won’t meanbeing cruel and uncaring.So that loving me won’t be a sacrifice. I want to have you without breaking youand without breaking me.But howContinue reading ““Better Clone” – Nayana Nair”

“ugliness of my words” – Nayana Nair

As they casually made a remark about my incompetence, I found I hated them more than I should. Even if all their words were true, even though I was lacking. I wanted them to speak well of me. Not only speak well of me but to think well of me. – I never realized thatContinue reading ““ugliness of my words” – Nayana Nair”

“What we won’t find” – Nayana Nair

I have spent every bit of my energytrying not to cry, not to lose,trying to believe that this suffering is fine,that I’ll somehow make it through.I struggle to forget all the compromisesthat have only given me new scars that no one can see but me,to come in terms with the factthat it is not myContinue reading ““What we won’t find” – Nayana Nair”

“Future You Saw” – Nayana Nair

You say, “There are two of me and two of you and if we are trying to be precise in the count of us I think there are many me and many you.” Does it even matter, to think about all the people we were just for a day? To complain about a love thatContinue reading ““Future You Saw” – Nayana Nair”