“Folds” – Nayana Nair

You are goneand I try to hold the spoon like you used to.I chew my food with my left molars as you did.The ghosts that I have wronged, that I have forgottennow include half of my teeth, teeth you would have never used. You are goneand you are happy (probably).So I memorize name and phoneContinue reading ““Folds” – Nayana Nair”

“Pay it off” – Nayana Nair

Most my life is aboutstanding at the edge with the othersand choosing whether to push them firstor giving up on myself, by throwing myself away.And all my decisions have ended upin wait for someone else to decide my fate.Wait long enough to think we are friends who are here watching the world set on theContinue reading ““Pay it off” – Nayana Nair”

“Removed” – Nayana Nair

I could look at his face without the need of looking for places to hide. I could look at him and be assured he will look back at me with kindness I couldn’t have. And this assurance, this trust was the reason that I had to hide, had to look away. For what would beContinue reading ““Removed” – Nayana Nair”

“Crack in my mind” – Nayana Nair

I couldn’t look into the eyes of the people I knew all my life or even people who never knew me. Every morning I woke up I felt I have left a part of me in the nightmare of the last the day. I was afraid that with every hello that I said I willContinue reading ““Crack in my mind” – Nayana Nair”

“Not Much” – Nayana Nair

I am tempted to walk into the night and look for you who has always stood on the other side of my fear, waiting for me everyday, carrying a flower of hundred petals petals that wither one by one like the clock that marks days not hours, days that otherwise would have been too longContinue reading ““Not Much” – Nayana Nair”

“Adjust to Red” – Nayana Nair

It was gruesome because everyone kept walking, thinking they can move on and grow up, only if they stepped over whatever was left of themselves to become friends with the faces that are still drunk and happy with the taste of their weakness. It was scary because it was normal to be cruel, not onlyContinue reading ““Adjust to Red” – Nayana Nair”

“Throw Myself”- Nayana Nair

There was no breath left to let out as I throw myself down the stairs. And every step that I tumble down, I feel breaking bones. Muscles and knuckles losing another bubble of a happy memory that I once thought would be enough to keep me alive. My broken thoughts rush into my blood intoContinue reading ““Throw Myself”- Nayana Nair”

“In my care” – Nayana Nair

How unfortunate that your dream had to be about me. That you placed all the pieces left of you in that dream and placed it in my care. If only you had seen the cracked edges of mine that were going to become your future. If only I had known my incapability to love orContinue reading ““In my care” – Nayana Nair”

“Like each other” – Nayana Nair

Can it be, that somehow we have become so much like each other that we we have lost our own skies lost our own rivers and we have created this world where there is only us. Can it be, that the ground here shakes to become separate, that the air here is heavier than itContinue reading ““Like each other” – Nayana Nair”