RSS Feed

Tag Archives: life

“Your Place” – Nayana Nair

_BBrD54c

I am not walking over
your footprints.
I am walking into the space you used
to occupy in this world.
I am walking into your absence.
I am taking your place.
I am taking your voice.
I am taking in the laughter
that escaped your lips
and never found their way back.
I am walking towards the fate
that took you from me, from this world.
But I do not seem to reach the place
where you are.
I have become one with the doorbell that never rings,
with the appointments on calendar
you will never be able to keep.
I can’t curse you for leaving me.
Some journeys are made without choice
and some distances are granted for our own peace.
The place you made for me in this life
is the only thing that feels right without you.
Only thing I can do
is to stop waiting,
and live your life
in your place.

Advertisements

“Throw Myself”- Nayana Nair

10574643956_2b897e268b_b

There was no breath left to let out

as I throw myself down the stairs.

And every step that I tumble down.

I feel breaking bones.

Muscles and knuckles

losing the another bubble of a happy memory

that I once thought would be enough to keep me alive.

My broken thoughts rush into my blood

into my empty lungs,

almost convinced that this the last

they will see of me.

And I never tire out.

I never feel sore enough or pained enough

to stop myself from doing this to myself.

But while I took you for another wall

that existed to break me,

another voice to help me fill up

pages on essays of self-hatred

and regrets that do not forget me.

You became the arms that hold me, lift me

And carry my burden of life along with me.

And for first time

I want to live better.

And I want you with me in that better life.

“Act Better” – Nayana Nair

DLpwkMHWkAA_XT4

I have turned my face
from every confrontation
that I cannot tolerate.
I have stuck to my thoughts
and my denials.
I continue to agree with people
whom I find agreeable
and people who can help me think
that I am thinking right.
I have not learnt much in life.
And even when I realize my dubious nature,
I am not sure whether my efforts to improve
actually improve me
or are they just lessons to act better, pretend better,
to keep my immaturity bottled up.
But I do not mind such an arrangement
even if it is frustrating,
if only I could cushion this world
from the hatred I am capable of.

“Rewrite” – Nayana Nair

large

I could say that you are so far away
that you cannot know what makes me
even if you tried.
For I feel the excuse of distance cannot fill this basket
that would have been essentially filled with the
reasons that are easier to put in mouth
but difficult to wrap our heart around.
Like the words that are often deleted and rewritten
so as not to offend.
And rewritten thousand times
so that they say nothing, mean nothing.
And we are content at the fact
that we could voice something in this world
even if the purpose of these words
was to just to fill up the air, fill up our time.
And the space just widens between us,
not because
there is distance between our heart
(because this wide world was made
for our heart to roam,
so this distance cannot be avoided).
But because I could never let you
rest your head, rest your questions
on the lap of my thoughts.
So that you may know
how my life (just like yours)
simmers under the heat of
indifferent care
that we are all used to receive.

“Finally…the warmth” – Nayana Nair

771493d40834c45daa97c83feabf742b

When I saw myself
in the light of kindness,
that I only used for looking at other.
I finally felt the warmth
of being wrapped in my own arms.
That day
I let myself sew the sun
back in my eyes.
I let myself hang the portraits
of my failures and weakness
on the walls my life.
For that one day,
I was more loved than I ever will be.
For that one day
I was more strong than I ever was.

“Eroding Structures” – Nayana Nair

tumblr_static_tumblr_static_4p6f6hf5szcwgok4cgg08ooc0_640

I checked my diaries
for the hints of regrets,
for the eroding structures of demands
I once made from life.
I checked my skin for the trace of scars
the remains of the unreasonable
yet necessary decisions.
The sharp bleeding memory
of the blade,
of the hatred I inflicted on myself.
I checked the outline of my mother’s lips
do they finally approve of what I am.
While I eat all three meals
that were supposed to keep me full,
I wait for the forgiveness that never comes.
The pardon
that my heart
(half eaten by my self loathing)
can never grant.

“Settling dust of memories” – Nayana Nair

335ecc3180c17580962695a75ddeebcb--indie-bedroom-bedroom-decor

My past
bleeds slowly onto my clothes,
onto the furniture,
on the buttons of elevator,
on the currency that leaves my hand,
on the roads I drag myself through everyday.
And they do not get lost
only because they leave my mind.
They are forever in front of my eyes
forming a layer of sadness on my daily life.
So that I do not forget
what all I have lost, what all I have suffered
to reach this point in life
where I can really smile.
I think it is another me,
the one who only knew the worse of world
who fears she will be forgotten,
so she doesn’t want to leave.

The Chatter Blog

Living: All Day Every Day: Then Chattering About It

Running Naked With Scissors

slightly cracked observations and unsolicited advice on bending the rules and being yourself...and butterflies

Myths of the Mirror

Life is make believe, fantasy given form

The Lily Garden

Yuri visual novels, yuri anime, and yuri manga

my {seoul} dream

ramblings of a lover of languages and writing

SENTIMENTS

Anything and Everything

harrie nijland 2

PHOTOGRAPHY

Annie's Poetry

Words and Pictures

Dreamwalker's Sanctuary

A Sanctuary for Enlightenment and Peace through Poetry and Inspirational Thoughts as we go through Life

Singledust

Living on the equator but longing for snow

Reymon de Real Photography

Amateur photography by a professional Physical Therapist!

The Girl with Ironwings

Lift your head up princess. Madness is Genius.

Seattle Stories

Art for the Accessible Era

The Afictionado

Pop culture ponderings and associated geekery

INSPIRED by grace

From the Latin "inspirare" meaning to breathe.

Feel Like Samantha

Click For Sam

Gardens and Empty Spaces

Hop in, visit my backyard garden..

valentine kizito

Grandchild of God Poetry. All reserved (c)

agoyvaerts

To observe, to be enchanted, and to enjoy the simple stuff in life, is truly a delight.