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“Sad Endings”- Nayana Nair

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Last night I was watching the movie “Vinnaithandi Varuvaya”…….liked it…..
But each time I watch movies…One thing becomes certain about my bad taste..that I’m more inclined to like those with sad endings……

For example…..some weeks ago…I was watching the same movie’s Hindi version “Ekk Deewana Tha”……you know..the story was pretty same…same music..by A.R. Rahman (Loved his music in both Hindi and Tamil version…but I liked the lyrics of Thamarai more than Javed Akhtar’s…)…the director was same…so not much difference

But the day I watched the hindi version it didn’t matter much…
I mean the movie was good and all……but you know not that impact…
but yesterday the tamil version…..it would be a crime to call it “good and all”…it was awesome
why?
because
1.the hero and heroine did better acting than that in Hindi…..
2.the dialogues seemed better….or rather the way they were said…
3…the most important point…was this one had sad ending…(unlike the Hindi version where everything gets right in the end)…here heroine married someone else…and hero was left alone…

The third reason is the most important part……..
I’m not some sadist kind of person to derive happiness from the main character’s sorrow…its just that…these kind of stories seem more real….if not real..at least for me..they make a far more impact than those happy endings….

You know…after the movie ends ..you can’t get it out of your mind….for like next three days……its like the possibilities of any other ending haunts you….you think…only if it was a happy ending…….you crave for happy ending…knowing that it was not…that thoughts fill up your mind…..and you think…all this could have been avoided if this didn’t happen…or that didn’t happen….every time you hum its tune..there’s a kind of sadness it reminds you of….

It doesn’t dampen your spirit..but you know it kind of lingers in your thought..in your heart..in your mind…the story becomes a part of you….Sometimes I imagine..how lucky and how fortunate  it would be to write something like that…to write stories that people treasure in their heart…..to write the kind of stories people care about….

For me these sad ending tales are same……if even a chance…I would write a story like that….

I believe I love movies and books…just because it makes me live the life of a person ( real or imaginary) for some moments…the kind of person I may never meet…the kind of life I may never experience….it feels like for those moments you see can see the whole picture….so for me how good the film / movie is depends on to what extent I can feel them to be me…that illusion is all that counts…..I don’t know about others but for me…sorrow is something that arises empathy in me for the character….happiness..it creates empathy only if you have felt the hard work..and the determination it took the character to achieve that happiness…..So..it all boils down to the fact that the kind of movies I like to some extent ( I’d like to emphasize…TO SOME EXTENT) depends on the sorrow of the character…because when the character’s pain bring tears into my eyes….its because of empathy…on the contrary the happiness…that brings smile on my lips..to a large extent is sympathy…

Like I loved the movie “Ghajini”..very much..although I liked the Hindi version better than the Tamil one, maybe..that’s due to the Aamir Khan effect…anyway….sometimes I think , would I have liked the movie this much..if everything was happy in it…if heroine didn’t die..if the hero didn’t suffer too much..if everything could be changed…..but my answer would have been no…its what the hero suffered for heroine that endears him to the viewer…

Similarly..another favorite movie of mine is X MEN ORIGINS WOLVERINE that was something that would stay in my heart..why..the reasons would be same as that of the above film….the moment the heroine dies..your heart just skips a beat..as you never thought it would happen…and never wished it would happen..and when you know all that was a lie…you can really feel what the hero must have felt…..because it was not only the hero who was cheated …you were also felt cheated because you know what he had to go through to get to her…to get revenge of her death…and how much she meant to him…and how do you know that?…because you saw his pain..you felt his pain….(another possible reason couls be this, which I read on another site: “he has hazel brown and green eyes. Plus, there’s a hint of pain in those eyes. Women love that”)

Sometimes I wonder….maybe its our sorrow that glues us together..more than love…..

But why am I writing this rubbish boring speech….because I feel…years from now I would change…this theory of mine won’t be applicable on me…and then I would laugh at the kind of things I used to believe in…the kind of stupid opinions I had……this all won’t matter to me…..

But right now…I still wish…years from now…I want to believe in this…how sick this belief maybe…still I want to believe in this forever….to believe its the sorrow..its the pain that adds value to love.

“Melody Unknown”- Nayana Nair

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Its hard to breathe, its hard to see,

With these tears in my eyes,

I can barely move, I can barely stand,

On this pile of misery and lies.

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Bubbles of happiness I see below,

From this pile that stands tall,

I want to be there, not here,

But my heart can’t bear another fall.

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Still haunted by the memory of last fall,

That I took to chase my dreams,

Everything was just as it is now,

The same happy bubbles below, through which sunshine gleams.

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Alone and Deserted, on this desolate pile,

Amidst this hopelessness I gear a new tone,

A tune, a melody, that whispers hope to my heart,

An encouragement it filled, that melody unknown.

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So here I stand, to take a leap to escape,

rather than a leap of faith,

A desperate effort to escape ,

my worries, my life and my fate.

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I know not whether I’ll reach that happiness,

those gleaming bubbles of joy I see.

what I know is even if I land on another pile,

I’ll never leave this joy, that melody instilled in me.

“Picture Perfect”- Nayana Nair

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The minute you switch on TV….the only thing you can clearly see ( though people don’t accept that) is that television, books, movies and almost anything….through which you can mint money….run by exploiting the fantasy and the craze girls and women have about this ” picture perfect world”…from perfect color, skin, world, dress..and even a prince charming (that’s how axe and all the rubbish things get sold…)

it seems that hadn’t the girls been there in the world…the market would run dry….

This article I’m writing currently is not to put blame on industries, advertising companies…or anyone who’s exploiting our fantasy….our imagination…

This is not about blame….

The fact that I’m trying to point out is that….most of the girls have this notion that everything needs to be perfect..they thrust their expectation upon others..even themselves…they want themselves to be perfect, others to be perfect and in short the world to be perfect. I know what I’m talking…because I’m a girl….and I have experienced that…

They drown themselves in the huge ocean of romantic books, movies ….why? …just to escape…..escape from what?……..from the fact that’s nothing’s going to be perfect…..ever …EVER…….

So they are pleased to hear…..and pleased to see that perfectness the imaginary world offers…..and never knowing that they are reinforcing this belief of perfectness again and again…..that they are never going to achieve……

So what’s wrong in that?..nothing….Even I’d love to watch those movies and read those books…but the problem in this whole scenario is that even in our real lives we measure the other person with the same standard we have seen in that imaginary world…..and nothing compares to that……..we are again then disappointed the see the imperfect world…so gain we drown ourselves in that ocean…this cycle never ends…….

What I’m trying to tell my fellow girls…for their own benefit…

STOP…STOP….daydreaming…..

go out…and live the life you want to live…don’t waste your time waiting for a stupid prince charming that may never come…or whose charm may not last no longer than the second they open their mouth to prove their stupidity.

if you want to go to beach…..go…do whatever you want…find time to do what you love……

the problem we see these days……..is that these girls are not in love…..they are desperately in love with the idea of being in love……..

if you want to dream….dream about , think about what good can you do with your life, what can you achieve in these finite breaths that you’ve got remaining in the bank account of your life….

There are people who who actually deserve your attention, your love….and let me tell you that these people are far away from perfect……and don’t waste your time to turn them into perfect being…..perfectness is boring….its only appealing in imagination……real life is all about imperfection…

Love is not about finding that perfect guy….(anyone can do that…its not love)

Love is all about finding someone who you can love even though they are imperfect..even though they maybe complete jerks….even though they might hurt you…..even if they break your trust…..

you may think that’s not possible but that’s what reality is…you are imperfect to everyone around you…if you don’t believe that…see this article I’m writing criticizing you and trying to improve you (see even i’m trying to make everyone perfect)…so even though you’re not perfect your family, friends ………everyone loves you that’s why they are there…still with you..

.the imperfect you…

“DREAM”- Nayana Nair

The same old story, the familiar scene,

There’s land and sea, but no sign of green.

Although its hot and dry, but somehow it gives me pleasure,

As I walk by the shore, absent mindedly, possibly for pleasure.

The desert and the sea, here they merge,

I sit sipping my coffee at a sand dune’s verge.

I look at two people sitting on my either side,

We exchange glances and offer each other smile.

A pleasing silence and a joy, here prevails,

As we see at some distancing slow graceful sails.

But suddenly a darkness engulfs everything,

Besides me, in this void, exists nothing.

I open my eyes, to see the light shine,

And set off that alarm, which broke the dream of mine.

Never have I forgotten that story and that scene,

Though it may seem strange and weird…..but it’s still my beloved recurring dream.

“A NEW PLACE, A NEW SHORE”- Nayana Nair

(Image taken from :howtogetexback.org )

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My heart, my house, my place for escape,

Has not been looked after and is in a pretty bad shape.

Although I see beauty in every other direction,

But my gaze is fixed on this building, for which no one has affection.

But the fault was mine and mine alone,

Whom I gave my undivided attention, are long gone.

And what’s left behind is the heart I never cared for,

A heart, that doesn’t complain for always being ignored.

But today I stand at my own heart’s door,

To ask for forgiveness from my soul’s core.

For chasing the shadows that were never meant to be mine,

For it was you who created them for me, it was you light divine.

So let’s restore the happiness you held before,

Let’s move our house to a new place, a new shore.

And remove this dust from our heart’s windows,

Let’s plant the seed of joy that forever will grow.

“WE’LL NEVER KNOW” – Nayana Nair

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(Image taken from bee-box.tumblr.com)

Look at the faces on a crowded lane,
Every face with dozens of emotion is stained.
With hundreds of worries in their brains,
Still with courage and smile, they live, they bear that pain.

But no one’s here to gaze at other’s  face,
Just wishing to live one more day, without going insane.
Trying to hide themselves, disappointments and craze,
Each smile they witness only reminds them of their own pain.

Every one hiding their past,
Their selfishness, desires and fiendish acts.
Just a written script everyday they enact,
The lives you see are all an illusion not fact.

Behind the illusive smiles and cheers,
There’s a night sky studded with fears.
Ans curtain of never ending tears,
An ocean of pain we find hard to bear.

But even with a common sorrow, a common fight,
They crush each other in darkness, for their own delight.
Ignoring reason, sympathy or truth’s light,
Each one struggling to prove their own might.

Maybe that’s what life is,
And what it always will be.
Maybe we’ll always be a bunch of biased sadists,
Reason who ignore to see.
Or maybe we’re supposed to rise above these boundaries,
Embrace each other and live free.
Or maybe we’ll never know,
What we’re meant to be.

AND SLOWLY WE WALK”- Nayana Nair.

( Image taken from weheartit.com)

On the way to the library,

We both giggled as we talk,

When everyone was ahead in a hurry,

You stayed back with me and slowly we walk

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Here at this moment

I want

That this walk, this path would never end,

But I’d wish

You’d stop sacrificing you joys for my betterment.

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As the others, our classmates play, merrily on ground

I dare not and would not go anywhere near,

You love to play, but you sit with me to hear bird’s sound,

From your eyes, I can tell, not words but hearts they hear

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Here at this moment

I want

Your eyes to hear my every thought and plight,

But I’d wish

You’d leave me, without me  as a burden, your life will be more bright.

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Its lunch time, and all the girls are talking,

You sit with me, leaving the company of all others,

In my world of solitude, you brought spring,

Then effortlessly, there comes a smile on your face and m sorrow withers.

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Here at this moment

I want

This smile to last on your face forever,

But I’d wish

I’d stop draining joys from your life and for a change I’d be the giver.

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The wish is my mind and the want is my heart.

I hope someday the reason of my mind agrees with the song in my heart

I hope someday they’d be together not poles apart,

I hope someday they’d speak the same thing for a new start.

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But now

I want and I wish

Someday, for every happiness you give me,

I could give you one back too,

Someday for every suffering you go through for me,

I could do the same for you

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I hope someday

Instead of looking up to you,

I’d grow up to be you.

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