“I am not mistaken. I know it doesn’t hurt you.” – Nayana Nair

I wish for once to be unstable enough,
to lose it for once,
to kill every part of me that wants to take your name
every minute of the day,
to throw away this shit that you have
engraved me into-
into your bigger plans, into your list of exes,
into the list of girls who would never be good enough for you,
into the the stories you would prepare in advance for you next girl,
stories with my name,
into the list of people you block and regularly check on
just to ensure they do not find happiness without you.
I want to do something other that to be bothered by your existence,
to be obsessed of my role and use in your life,
that is now separate from mine.
I want to be myself for once, than to be just another girl
whom you no longer want.

AND SLOWLY WE WALK”- Nayana Nair.

( Image taken from weheartit.com)

On the way to the library,

We both giggled as we talk,

When everyone was ahead in a hurry,

You stayed back with me and slowly we walk

 .

Here at this moment

I want

That this walk, this path would never end,

But I’d wish

You’d stop sacrificing you joys for my betterment.

 .

 .

As the others, our classmates play, merrily on ground

I dare not and would not go anywhere near,

You love to play, but you sit with me to hear bird’s sound,

From your eyes, I can tell, not words but hearts they hear

 .

Here at this moment

I want

Your eyes to hear my every thought and plight,

But I’d wish

You’d leave me, without me  as a burden, your life will be more bright.

 .

.

Its lunch time, and all the girls are talking,

You sit with me, leaving the company of all others,

In my world of solitude, you brought spring,

Then effortlessly, there comes a smile on your face and m sorrow withers.

 .

Here at this moment

I want

This smile to last on your face forever,

But I’d wish

I’d stop draining joys from your life and for a change I’d be the giver.

.

.

The wish is my mind and the want is my heart.

I hope someday the reason of my mind agrees with the song in my heart

I hope someday they’d be together not poles apart,

I hope someday they’d speak the same thing for a new start.

 .

.

.

But now

I want and I wish

Someday, for every happiness you give me,

I could give you one back too,

Someday for every suffering you go through for me,

I could do the same for you

 .

.

.

I hope someday

Instead of looking up to you,

I’d grow up to be you.