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“Summer Mood” – Nayana Nair

my feet relentlessly insist
on burning themselves
for the sake of summer mood.

i wear a shirt too big for me.
a wear a smile a bit too small.
i wear the worry of my parents on my neck.

i feel their fear
when i smile back at strangers.
i pretend to be the sand that no one can hurt.
i pretend to be the sea that doesn’t end.
i pretend no man in this beautiful scene
would hurt someone like me.

but my feet, they burn, they bleed.
my feet that only wanted freedom
from the moment i was born,
now they make me feel like the mermaid
who was not wise enough.

i feel like i am losing a part of myself
every time a stranger asks for my name,
every time they accidentally touch my skin
to fill me with shame and sin.
i pretend to be cool, to be understanding,
to be blind
as i feel like the monster
that brings out the worst in people.
as i erase my memories everyday
to put faith in people whom i find hard to trust.

“How many more lines” – Nayana Nair

Posted on

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How many more lines should I write
for you to actually see
the happiness that creates ripples
under my skin at your smile.
The sadness that leaves marks
on my wrist,
on my neck,
at the end of everyday.
And the comfort of your presence
in whose warmth
my ever-flowing tears
find fingertips
that can hold and embrace them.
I carry a love in my heart
that can be accepted and
reciprocated by you,
but never understood.

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“Be With Me” – Nayana Nair

angel2

My pain sits on my shoulder, clings to my neck

and sings stories of years that defined me.

How it had no one else but me.

It was so fierce, yet so fragile.

I felt the urge to protect it.

From anything. From everything.

I wanted to protect it from every cure.

I wanted it to be with me. To be a part of me.

I felt I would be a little less me

if it left my body.

I didn’t mind this pain decaying my body.

I didn’t mind it’s echoing cries and lament.

I just wanted it to be there always.

But when pain decided to leave me,

I felt that life has left my body.

I cried realizing that it was never a part of me.

I don’t think I cried cause I missed pain.

I cried for there is nothing in my life I can be sure of.

Not even pain.

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See also http://dezedusone.wordpress.com/

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