“Must be Lived” – Nayana Nair

By the grave of your every love,
I have cried for nights.
For the love they took to their graves
and the life you have lost.
This life that demands me to suffer without hope.
This ocean that I never thought my feet would touch.
The night seem so lonely,
not having someone to
look for me
when I have lost my way
inside the wreck of your life.
Trying to heal the wounds that
you never gave me the right to touch.
The gravestone cries with me.
Like this gravestone,
I mark the life
of the love you lost.

There are certain deaths
that must be lived.

“Orange Light” – Nayana Nair

Some nights
the pillow is too fluffy.
Some nights
the pillow is too hard.
And I have no option
but to stay awake
and look at the
orange light of streetlamp
outside my window.
It is not the pillow,
nor the light
that keeps me awake.
It is just the side effect
of trying too hard
to be something.

Some nights
I am too much.
Some nights
I am not enough.
And I have no option
but to stay awake
and look at the
light of fate
out of my control.

“THE ARRIVAL”- Nayana Nair

In the dismal hours

Of the darkest nights

Time has a habit

Of toying with my mind.

Sometimes, into untraceable

Cracks of thoughts, it disappears.

The hands of clock drag themselves

Through air of confusion and fear.

Through the fate

Of abysmal wait.

To get rid of this rosy fog

Time has put around me,

In which I stumble,

Fall and bleed.

I toss away everything

That’s left of me.

And soon the chaos inside me

Surrounds me, suffocates me.

I no longer wish to struggle.

I resign, I surrender myself

To the havoc, that is me.

When all I have won

Is about to be lost,

Clock finally reads twelve.

Tomorrow has arrived.

And it kneels by my bed,

Looks into my eyes,

Holds my hand,

And tells me

“There is hope”.

“ANTS”- Nayana Nair

As you all walked

To your homes, to your love

To where the crowd takes you.

With love and hatred

And worries in your minds.

With life still in your veins.

I sat there, up above,

Looking down at you,

Oblivious of me, of him.

Of the knots that tightened

Around his neck each second.

While he saw everyone, even himself

Wrenching away from his grasp

The only life he would ever have.

I looked at him beside me

And looked at you down below.

And wondered whether anyone of you

Will remember his face,

Will know his life.

Maybe your hostile glance

Was the last nail that

Broke open his heart.

Someone like you planted that seed

Of self-hatred in him long ago.

I looked at his cuts and bruises

And thoughts of the nights he wrestled

With his thoughts and deeds

He wouldn’t confide nor confess.

As if he was the ant that was

Crushed beneath your boots.

And I wonder, how many other

Were still getting crushed.

Sitting there on that rooftop

With my friend

With stars above my head

And humanity below.

I saw him fall

Fall down in to the darkness.

And I cried as I lost my friend.

And he cried as he lost himself.