Though you have bought me happiness
that I was not looking for.
While I felt that all the world was too cold
and I would soon be part of this ice.
That my heart will freeze into
this space my life has trapped me in.
How warm was your presence
You could never know.
Though I have gone out of my way
to ensure your happiness.
And sat waiting for you.
Waiting, and not knowing , whether you’d come.
Cause there have been too many days, that you don’t.
I had to remind myself time and again
not to forget,
how to find my way back home on my own.
And when I looked at you
as if my life revolved around you.
How I hated myself for it.
Cause there is still a part of me
that is cold.
And with you, I have come to know worse things
than being cold.
Is that why I can’t name it?
Name what we have between us.
Afraid that if I utter the word ‘love’
our heart would pain a little more,
knowing what we are losing.
Afraid that this is the best life can offer us,
best what we can offer each other
And knowing each second
that this is not good enough for both of us.