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Tag Archives: past

“Fade” – Nayana Nair

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Slowly you scribble
one last goodbye
on a piece of paper,
that I will spend my life holding .
Slowly you will fade
as you walk away from me
into a future
that blooms in my absence.
Slowly I fade
waiting for you
into a past
that never left me.

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“Growing Up” – Nayana Nair

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Growing up
we become closer to the person we are not.
How shallow the facade of maturity is.
How fragile the moments when we feel a human,
how quickly they are lost.
How we grapple at the loose ends of what’s left behind.
How we ask ourselves questions
and write about person in the mirror.
How everything we want
is already in past
and everything in future
is just a compromise.

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“Going back in time” – Nayana Nair

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There could never be a time for us.
We could never ask the question
we never thought of.
We could never bring up a spring of love
in our dry hearts.
And going back in time
makes no difference.
We would always be what we are
anything contrary to that,
anything against our very own nature,
makes us no less than a living lie.
Will that be still counted as love?
There would never be a right time
in the past that is already made
and nor in lives
that had no space for it anyways

“Won’t you?”- Nayana Nair

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I have nothing to talk to you,

my friend.

I have hundred things that make me cry at this moment.

There are moments in my life that fill me with joy,

that makes my life seem worth living,

that you do not know of .

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But I have nothing to say to you.

You are still my friend,

but I feel we exist in different world.

My world consists of only me.

And your world has no place

for the silence that I speak in.

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But I can’t tell you that.

I don’t want to lose you.

You may not know me now.

I may not know you too.

We are holding he hands of our past selves.

But you know it already,

don’t you?

But love me still, like I love you.

Won’t you?

“VIRTUE OF FOOLISHNESS”- NAYANA NAIR

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Feeling the cold metal at her neck

In the cramped up space where she sat,

She looked out of the window, with her mind

Far way from what reached her eyes.

 

Reflecting, how foolish she had always been,

Foolish for believing people without any doubt,

To hold onto them even if they hurt her,

To accept people for who they are but never accept herself.

 

To have let go of her esteem for them,

To have thought that they’d value her, a fraction of how much she did.

 

And she thought of everything

She had done that led her to this day,

Where people saw her as someone not worth respecting,

For each time she would let go of her pride.

Not worth the effort, for she won’t demand it,

Not worth the love, cause she didn’t deserve it.

 

But as she cried at all the hurt,

The shame, the loss and herself.

With her hand held open

Waiting for a hand to hold it.

She turned her back to the past

That haunted her, that hurt her

To look at him, beside her.

 

And she remembered how she’d

Been more of a fool for him than anyone.

How she was foolish to make

Someone centre of her life,

To love someone more than herself.

For a girl who couldn’t bear

The scars of betrayed little affections,

How could she hope to survive

The love that’d shatter her.

 

For she knew

She was nothing and could mean nothing to anyone.

So how could she mean something to him?

She knew

That if everyone saw her as a liar

How could she expect him to believe her?

She knew

That she’d lost herself the moment she chose love above respect

How could she expect him to embrace her and take pride in her?

For she knew

What she was

She was just a fool.

 

But in spite of knowing this

She accepted the love she’d found.

For a moment she found meaning to live,

And she felt glad to be there

And to have known what her life could have been,

To have felt his love,

To have known that she’ll always be loved.

Anything else didn’t matter

For being foolish was her virtue

That led her to him.

 

And when she felt the warmth of his hands in hers

And saw him smile through all his pain,

She could see that he felt he was foolish to be there,

He was her foolishness,

And she was his.

With the same insecurities in his heart,

He chose to love her as long as he can.

As long as his soul could bear this pain.

As long as his heart could love.

As long as she would love him back.

So they’ll stay together as long as their stupidity allowed.

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“Gift of an Afternoon”- Nayana Nair

 

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Years from now, on a dull June afternoon,

I picture you, in an unknown time and place.

Sitting by a window, in world distant and new,

and for a moment at the sky you’ll gaze.

 

And if your mind will wander away,

through the narrow and dusty road of past.

In the memories of people and their ways,

in the moments that drifted away so fast.

 

In the list of regrets, dreams and hopes,

In the summing up of life’s losses and gain.

In the people you’ve hurt by the words you spoke,

in the love you gave and in return got pain.

 

In those crowd of memories of wrong and right,

if for a moment I pass your thought,

if for that second you miss my voice, my sight,

and see what we were, are and what we sought.

 

Smile at those meaningless musings and jokes,

and miss those moment of bliss, sorrow and love,

and if suddenly life drags you to reality,

and you’ll forget me till another dull noon.

 

That will be your biggest gift to me,

for in the life I won’t longer be a part of,

if you’ll think of me for a second or two,

and if my memory stays somewhere in you.

 

I will be happy in these little moments,

for you’ll be lead back to me in these thoughts.

For, these moments of reminiscence

are all that matters and all that counts.

 

And never forget, that in another world,

by another window, another desk,

will be a girl who’ll look at the same sky,

and gift some moments thinking of you.

“IMAGES”- Nayana Nair

(Image taken from pigarot.deviantart.com)

As I glance through the photos, those images,

That I have kept secure in my dairy’s pages.

I point to an image and exclaim “That’s me!!”,

An image which shows what I used to be.

A captured image, the moment of joys,

A point in the past when I had a choice.

Innocence of face and equally of heart,

That innocence in itself was a work of art.

That happiness, that joy, that freedom of mind,

And many more things I’ve left behind.

And surrounding me were genuine smile,

No knowledge of etiquettes, no care for style.

But now the person in the mirror is no longer me,

I look for my footsteps that have been washed away by the sea.

A feeling as if I’ve lost a part of me in the dark alleys I came from,

A feeling of hatred against the person I’ve become.

I search for myself in the ruins of the past,

In the shadows of images that won’t ever last.

 

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