“On the Road to Spring” – Nayana Nair

The trees that flowermay extend their hands to the pitiful usand ask us to walk with them,learn a bit more about beginnings,about the ends that we must eventually be. Tell me, in those moments of hopeam I allowed to want?What should I do with the peopleI have abandoned, about the thingsI can’t be forgiven for?Continue reading ““On the Road to Spring” – Nayana Nair”

“I am afraid of the ones who still see hope in me” – Nayana Nair

They are beautiful peoplewith beautiful heartand they really want to mend meand that’s scary. It is scarybecause I can’t seem to feellove or gratitudefor anyone who affirmsthat I am as bad as I imagined myself to be. It is scarybecause my disease knows meand my cure doesn’t.And the better life sounds like hellto my brokenContinue reading ““I am afraid of the ones who still see hope in me” – Nayana Nair”

“the constant part of love” – Nayana Nair

i remember your hands and their warmthlike i rememberthe versions of methat were easier to live with (or so i think).the colors, their unnatural brightness,the scent of acetone always lingeringon the tips of your fingertips,always hiding a sad rainbow (just my type).always a star that you forgot to rub and break,shined on your skin.under myContinue reading ““the constant part of love” – Nayana Nair”

“Red Gates” – Nayana Nair

I drowned the flowersone by one.The poison of beautynow runs through the riverson this land,they fill his backyardin every season of rain.A child with his smiledrowns another boat of dreams,the flood is a field of paper,the flood is all that is left of me.She stares into me,waiting for a reflection to surface.She walks into metoContinue reading ““Red Gates” – Nayana Nair”

“All the boxes are checked” – Nayana Nair

It hurts a bit more naturallyand less violently,now that betrayal has a range,has not one but many faces.Now I need not figure what I did wrong. All the boxes are checked: family, family, friends, not friends,thank-god-we-were-never-friends friends,i-am-sad-i-stood-up-for-you friends,people who marked my skin with their nameto own mewhile i slept in their arms(another golden cup addedContinue reading ““All the boxes are checked” – Nayana Nair”

“fairy tales” – Nayana Nair

a broken endwith a light(a lighter duller than me)touches me.someonesays the magic words,the loathsome wordsthat make me the old alice.i am made to leavethe seat, the home,the dream, the rightsthat are too big for me.they leave me a tiny suitcasesfilled with fancy dressesmade of used socks and handkerchiefs.they are cute,they are kind,they have read theirContinue reading ““fairy tales” – Nayana Nair”

“Last to know” – Nayana Nair

I regret to tell you thisthat the blue sky that you died foris not longer blue.It is painting its face with remainsof our greed, with the colors of our wars.But it is still sort of fair.It is trying hard not to choose sides,not to become the flags that unitesonly those whose favorite words are‘future’, ‘safety’,’money’,Continue reading ““Last to know” – Nayana Nair”

“Luminous” – Nayana Nair

The night doesn’t quite reach my land.There are columns and mountains of lightthat my people have given themselves to. I never roll down my windows.There is a scent of death in the air.I don’t want to rememberhow burning is painful. In my mind I run towards the memoriesof my perspective correction classes.I pick out aContinue reading ““Luminous” – Nayana Nair”

“Summer Mood” – Nayana Nair

my feet relentlessly insiston burning themselvesfor the sake of summer mood. i wear a shirt too big for me.a wear a smile a bit too small.i wear the worry of my parents on my neck. i feel their fearwhen i smile back at strangers.i pretend to be the sand that no one can hurt.i pretendContinue reading ““Summer Mood” – Nayana Nair”

“Now playing: the ominous names you are yet to know, yet to resent” – Nayana Nair

I board the train that I couldthinking,only thinking about the one I couldn’t.There are only tunnels, only darkness,no network,only cold metal that I rest my headhoping for my fever to come down,only windows that turn into mirror. In those momentary mirrorsI always look like someone on life support.In the crowd that no longer suffocates meIContinue reading ““Now playing: the ominous names you are yet to know, yet to resent” – Nayana Nair”