“Even when things are right” – Nayana Nair

“The sky is your canvas”,the book to all ailments said,“there is a joy in filling it up with life.”But as I finished my 157th sketch,as I finished my 300th one,as I finished the one with no count attached(the one I called “the limits that were stronger than me”),as I write over all that I hadContinue reading ““Even when things are right” – Nayana Nair”

“News of my new love and loveless life” – Nayana Nair

DRAWING THE STARS WRONGall my hopes, now in your hands,feel like signs of trouble.i liked it on paper, the broken star in red ink,but not on my sky.can i undo my steps to you?will my heart break even if you leave my skin? STRIPPING YOU OF FLESHbefore i turn away from youthere are things thatContinue reading ““News of my new love and loveless life” – Nayana Nair”

“one more person” – Nayana Nair

the one thing i can’t beis honest.though there are many other adjectivesthat stare at mefrom their balconies at midnightas i walk and crawl through the dirt road,through the pool of lights,crying and shouting and breaking dreamsin every home that i pass by.i hear them shaking their headswith disapproval and hopelessness.i look at their hazy shadowsandContinue reading ““one more person” – Nayana Nair”

“a way out” – Nayana Nair

I saw youin a moment abandoned by every story.I saw youslowly circling the window of lifeto find a way in.I watched you,waited for youas I lay on the painful bed of abandon,as I wrote my hundredth songon the beauty of giving up.With my eyes glued to youI ate another scoop of airand lied about theContinue reading ““a way out” – Nayana Nair”

“Black Pond” – Nayana Nair

As I climb,my steps remembered the shoes I once hadthe ones that didn’t hurt so muchand how hands of mine that hacked through themjust to become my own person,some sort of grown-up.I climbed over the yellow soft dressand the light that it caughtjust to get this, this body that looks held togetherbut is not(this bodyContinue reading ““Black Pond” – Nayana Nair”

“maybe once” – Nayana Nair

his name doesn’t feel like a dying world now.once,maybe onceblue was his favorite word,i was his favorite person thing medicine game hopebut now that he is burning all his notebooksi believe life is getting better for him.he paints skies for me, paints me flowersthat have never known cold.once,maybe oncei could let myself rest in himbutContinue reading ““maybe once” – Nayana Nair”

“All the boxes are checked” – Nayana Nair

It hurts a bit more naturallyand less violently,now that betrayal has a range,has not one but many faces.Now I need not figure what I did wrong. All the boxes are checked: family, family, friends, not friends,thank-god-we-were-never-friends friends,i-am-sad-i-stood-up-for-you friends,people who marked my skin with their nameto own mewhile i slept in their arms(another golden cup addedContinue reading ““All the boxes are checked” – Nayana Nair”

“Creature of Claw” – Nayana Nair

How long should I bleedfor the one who holds the knife. I pluck another flower of kindnessto appease the one who won’t even smile for me.He looks at it and tells me the tested foolproof waysto kill this useless plant that grows in meand cracks his shield. He tells me he will love me moreifContinue reading ““Creature of Claw” – Nayana Nair”

“your desire would burn away” – Nayana Nair

i read this on a torn sheet of paperthat was lying, waiting (possibly for me?)in that empty hall, that on a normal day has never known empty.and being who i am, this again had to be an easy answer from a higher power.being who i was i believed that the confusion in my mindrocked everyContinue reading ““your desire would burn away” – Nayana Nair”

“Normal Love” – Nayana Nair

I loveand wait to be lovedonly to feel “Maybe I am not that bad”.I wonder what that saysabout who I am as a person.In loveI can’t help but put my all,put up the act of selflessness,of fierceness.Be the creature of passionthat I rarely am by myself.How terribly normal I lookin the arms of my shape-shiftingContinue reading ““Normal Love” – Nayana Nair”