“That’s how it is sometimes–― Dorianne Laux, What We Carry
God comes to your window,
all bright light and black wings,
and you’re just too tired to open it.”
Tag Archives: poems
I have been collecting books on building sandcastles from the the remains of things humans leave behind. This is all I have ever read – how and where to find the stones called history, how to grind them so fine that they can forget themselves.
In my hands they become another extra leg of the ever wobbling chair that already looks like a monster, the miniature castle no one can live in, the gigantic dinosaur that won’t get the chance to destroy this world, the skyless blue that will keep dripping from the ceilings as long as people want to see the rain that won’t ruin the glow of their skin.
"People burn lamps of clarified butter I've ignited the lamp of my heart. People swear on their faithfulness I've eaten the poison of separation. People lose their heart in love. People lose their heart in love. I've also lost myself. But still me getting extinguished Was liked by my beloved" -"Luttna", Cocktail
"Giving and receiving scars is part of being human And I don’t think I was really scared of that. I clashed against things like I was going to break And I don’t think I was really scared of that." -"Green Nocturne", Nell
"sometimes the roof of feeling leaks, we remember old thirst, but new clouds dance and rain, they kiss the forehead with chains of drops.. it's the time to get soaked, a new weather is standing nearby, it's a small, but big thing.." -"Dhoop Ke Makaan Sa", Break Ke Baad
"I guess that I I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart" -"We are young", Fun.
I love to hold exhibitions where people can look at something beautiful enough to make them cry and not even realizing that they are looking at something they never wanted to see again, that they are looking at themselves the way they never wanted to.
They might not understand this, but I do.
The “unnecessary” that is so easy to cast away is the only thing that their heart wants. That is the only happiness that feels like happiness.
"We imagined the future we saw together on top of that high hill where a blue wind was blowing. We launched a big paper airplane which flew anywhere, carried by the wind. You laughed loudly as you saw my distant look. Your hat was blown off by a gust of wind, so I ran to catch it" -"Control Tower", Galileo Galilei
"The headlight that shines into my heart has become completely clean. All of your memories fade out. Inside the storm, my heart is green light" -"Eraser", Taeyeon
"Cuz I taste you in every shot that I take down But I feel so hollow" -"Here Come The Regrets", Epik High
No one is innocent, no one is blameless.
Helpless they may be, ignorant more so.
But all who seek reality and stability have killed someone or something that was too weak to protect itself. That is how we become good enough, deserving, suitable to live in this world.
The ones who suffer grow up eventually. But they grow less and less each day.
So knowing this, how I am I supposed to hate these murderers? How can I not save all they burn as they cry?
"Fear takes a hold of me and my heart grows heavy. And a sigh comes out of my mouth again. Time made me into an adult, but I don’t think it made me strong. Time made me into an adult but it made me that much more of a fool" -"Green nocturne", Nell
"I am still the same person I was before I am here, the same person I was from before, but An overgrown lie is trying to swallow me whole" -"Lie", Jimin (BTS)
"Here comes the rain So many scars never fade This is the price of war And we've paid with time" -"Fight the Night", One Ok Rock
"Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why. I tried" -"Thunder", Boys like Girls
So when they start hearing voices, when they feel that none of their masks fit their faces filled with fear- they come to me.
As they wait reading magazines filled with faces, bodies, lives, circumstances that are better than theirs, I sculpt a lie for them.
I call it a lie, because that is easy to accept, easy to display in their living room. Unlike truth, seeing it or showing it does not involve damage estimation.
This is how I make a scratch on the face of reality even when my hands are tied. This is the only happy ending I can give them, the only happy ending they can accept.
"This field is lined with the brave Souls in relief We'll fight fight till there's nothing left to say (Whatever it takes) Fight fight till your fears, they go away" -"Fight the Night", One Ok Rock
"Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope I'm wrapped up in vines I think we'll make it out But you just gotta give me time Strike me down with lightning Let me feel you in my veins I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain" -"Thunder", Boys like Girls
"So if by the time the bar closes And you feel like falling down I'll carry you home" -"We are young", Fun.
No one is innocent, no one is blameless.
But they are weak. We are weak.
I need to save them. So they can save me somehow.
In their tears, I see the tears that I have not learnt to shed.
"Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again" -"Just Give me a Reason", Pink
"We fight, fight till we see another day. Whatever it takes." -"Fight the Night", One Ok Rock
"Carry me home tonight" -"We are young", Fun.
Why does your lie hurt me so
when I know it is a lie?
Why are we ready to act as if
things have gone wrong between us,
when you still love me like you used to,
when I still feel like it was only yesterday
that you changed my life merely by existing.
I want to love you and protect you all my life.
Why are you giving up this life we have together.
I am not so strong that I will tell you-
“don’t worry, i’ll be fine”.
I don’t want to say that.
I will break down if you are not here.
For it’s not only my heart that you have
you have everything of me.
If you turn away from me in spite of loving me,
how do you expect me to carry on living with ease?
I do not want ease.
I am ready to loose my sleep over you.
I know what I am promising
believe me as you have done till now,
I have never given you a reason not to.
Stay with me
even if our love becomes my ruin.
Stay with me
even if it pains you to see me like this.
Stay with me
for all the pains I take for you
and for all the care you have for me-
we can only have so many seconds to be happy
and every portion of my happiness
I want to give it to you.
Stay with me
and let me the only one
who has to carry the burdens of tomorrow.
The one who hold my hand
it has to be you,
no one else.
If only yearning
was the correct word
for what I feel for you now.
There is a voice in me
that has taken over my throat
and it speaks what I never wanted to say.
It admits all weakness that you never knew I had.
What is the use of confessing
what no one even suspected?
I ask myself that
even as I continue to speak,
even if you are not here to listen.
Maybe your absence
has given me the courage
to do the right thing.
Now that you are gone,
now that you have changed
I have no reason to hide where I hid.
There is no love keeping me away from
the life that I always wanted,
that I could always have.
But the reason
of this freedom
also leaves me paralyzed.
Though there are many failures in my life
that I made you reason for,
now when I can do better without you, I see myself giving up.
How unfair it is to you, if I give up now.
How unfair it is to me, if I cant even taste the only fruits
whose sweetness you have not taken away.
Love was not that hard
and I do not want to add another line
to the poems and essays who blame love for everything.
That would be another lie, another failure for me,
if even when I am losing I seek someone
who is ready to sink with me.
All I ever wanted,
was to reach out to heart like yours
and let you know
that I know how tiring life is,
how exhausted one becomes
trying to keep hope alive.
Everyone lives their life
as per their own capacity.
And I wanted you to know
that you have given best
to this life.
And you couldn’t have done a better job.
All I wanted was for my words
to reach troubled hearts
like yours, like mine.
I write the reasons that I live for
on my wrist.
I remind myself why I am here.
why you are here.
I see this small image of me
in my mind’s eye.
In a world filled with black fog,
there in the center stands someone.
Who feels like
my life personified.
I feel I am copy of whoever
stands in that darkness.
I feel I only exist there.
I feel I am the darkness.
The rain has left
leaving behind puddles
and mud sticking to the sole of my clean clean shoes.
But this muddy road I walk on
it glistens like diamonds
under the streetlight.
And picture seems more beautiful, feels more beautiful
than what I expected it to be.
Slowly my eyes, absorb this picture
and it dawns on me.
How lovely it is
to walk alone
on this road,
to feel the cold and dampness,
to feel the drizzle,
with the curtain of dark night hanging on this cityscape
and the land illuminated in orange light.
I realize how easily
we can forget about the things we love
or used to love.
And how easily they will creep back
into our heart
when we least expect.
I see these places that will remain
as strange as they are to me today.
I see these little people scattered on the streets.
I see them locked away in a world not their own.
This lonely expanse on this never ending piece of earth.
And I see these toy like cars and trucks.
Somehow they don’t belong together.
I try to guess (,to think)
what it feels like to live in such small world
and not on this huge earth.
I guess they don’t know what I see from here.
That life had a dead end.
And at that end
we can choose to be in tinier coffins
we can be a part of never ending sky
and this ever nourishing earth.