RSS Feed

Tag Archives: pretend

“For Now” – Nayana Nair

There is no “my type of person”,
“my one and only friend”, or “my only hope”.
There is too much of you
that is not for me,
that I won’t take
even if you gave it away for free.
Because for every word of yours
that I find beautiful,
there are thousand other words
that I have not heard yet
that would hurt my ears,
hurt my notion of what you are
if I knew the complete truth.

-x-

That’s why I hate complete truth.
I detest it, in fact.
I do not want any part of it.
The lies – they hurt ultimately, I know.
But till that suffering arrives
at least there is a brief moment where
we are no longer preoccupied
with this hopeless business of finding a place to belong.
Sometimes a brief moment is all we need
to make sense of this life.

-x-

This life where
there is no complete understanding,
there is no complete love,
only this nameless feeling
that this is all we have got
and nothing will get much better.
That it will be easier,
maybe painful down the road,
but surely easier for now
to find our happiness
in everything that we don’t want.
To pretend that we are not lost
and pretend the best we can.

“Keep You Here” – Nayana Nair

photo-1508613789016-745d07168661

Even a harmless silence on your part
brings me down to tears.
I act in pathetic way
trying to get you back,
trying to buy your love
sometime using sympathy, sometimes throwing tantrums,
sometimes by changing myself, by changing you,
at times pretending that I am done with you
hoping that you try to stop me,
and in my weakness even thinking of hurting myself
if that is what it takes to keep you with me.
But won’t there be a limit
to the trials and errors that a heart can withstand.
What after that?
How shall I hold you here when that happens?

***

I tell myself everyday
I must work hard to keep you in love with me
till you can see in my tiring eyes how much you mean to me.
But often you look at me
as if you can see what I know I have become-
a human who grows new appendages of greed everyday
becoming a monster knowingly
calling it love.
I play this game by myself
wondering meantime,
why my love has turned out like this.
Why can’t we be simply in love forever
like were were made to believe that we could be?
Tell me how to end this,
this end that I want more that anything (even you)
that end is the only thing that is not in my hands.
I don’t know how to stop all that we have started,
how to fix all that I have disfigured with my desperation.

“Through the End” – Nayana Nair

large

However convenient it is to pretend,
but we are not the types that go into hibernation
and expect life to continue where we left it.
Though there is a part of us
that wants to hide ourselves into any warm embrace
and rely on darkness for safekeeping our innocence.
There is also a part of us
that wants to stay and see through the end,
however terrible and heart-breaking that maybe.
We fear not knowing
as much as
living alongside a truth not and knowing its name.

“How I Leave” – Nayana Nair

WellwornSpectacularHogget

We will look at the stars
sitting in this rundown world
and pretend that the cries we hear
and the ones that escape from our mouth
is the music and the beauty we created.
We will rewrite the meaning
of the light we see
so no one else has to be burdened with sorrow,
no one is filled with pity
when they take our words in their mouth.
We will look at stars
and we will loose our voice
but as the world turns silent again,
all that is left would be the words of hope
I could never believe myself
but that’s what I want to gift.
That is how I want to leave.

“Unimportant” – Nayana Nair

Posted on

tumblr_ovsid6XPbW1v39h5io4_1280

This day of unimportant advancement
will probably be the one that I will first forget.
My heart will pretend to be sad
to have forgotten all the beautiful harmless days till now.
Having also forgotten
the beautiful mornings that started with the sound of
beeps and shrieks and songs of alarm
that would keep sounding if I didn’t wake up.
Sometimes I didn’t wake up
only because I couldn’t take in the silence
that rushed at me once I do.
I would forget everything once beautiful.
But thankfully I would also forget
the unpleasant realizations that followed them.

“Assumption” – Nayana Nair

Posted on

amazing-awesome-blue-book-Favim.com-3177908

We assumed that this fire that melts and hurts
was safe in our hearts
and no one would have to know,
no one has to get burned, bear marks of
this uncertain change that leaves us strangers
to the ones we love.
That makes it difficult to act
like what we used to be,
when we are forgetting memories
we are supposed to enact.

“Divide in Two” – Nayana Nair

Posted on

tumblr_mssivkgVte1qm3q20o1_500

This day of unimportant advancement
will probably be the one that we will first forget.
Our hearts will pretend to be sad
to have forgotten all such beautiful harmless days.
We move into the next coming second,
dividing ourself in two.
The one left in past
always has the best,
always suffered the worst,
always surrounded by enviable beauty,
always the hero, the victim, the matyr.
While we go on forward selfishly
only taking what we really are.
Selfishly leaving the parts of us
that can be made glorious
only because if they are left behind.

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

Sosparkly Design

Peace, zen, beauty, nature, gardens, quirky - Sosparkly Design...

P.A. Moed

Creative Exploration in Words and Pictures

in cahoots with muddy boots

Cooking, gardening, traveling and photographing around the globe

Adventures in Wonderland

a pilgrimage of the heart

Her mourning coffee

heart ripped out via the throat

Travel Adventure Discover

Join me on my next adventure...

Trekking Tunes

Melodies in Motion

Francisco Goncalves - Photographer

La fotografía es la mejor compañía de las historias

/ EXPERIENCE OF THINKING / EXPÉRIENCE DE PENSÉE / ESPERIENZA DI PENSIERO /

The world is everything that is the case. --- Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Fotografías

José Luis Gutiérrez A.

Debs hiking Journey

bushwalking and hiking Australia

twobrownfeet

Stories about life -- on and off the road.

invadercee

Ramblings of a Melburnian

Woobie Ruby's Adventures of Life

Stash of experience of life and other random things.

Brandewijn Words

My Liquid Writings

Jane Dougherty Writes

About fantastical places and other stuff