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Abstraction

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“It is terrible to destroy a person’s picture of himself in the interests of truth or some other abstraction.”

Doris Lessing

We all long to be something

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The Flower“-Kim Chun-soo

We all long to be something.
You, to me, and I, to you,
long to become a gaze that won’t be forgotten.

Day 2 – Quote Challenge

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“I guess my life hasn’t always been happy, or easy, or exactly what I want. At a certain point, I just have to try not to think too much about certain things, or else they’ll break my heart.”
― Jonathan Franzen

This is a thought I can relate with but not know why. I am not entirely sure whether the interests that I have actually catch my attention, or I am trying to pile up more things to distract me from looking at things that might upset me. It is not that I try to avoid problems. I do face the problems in my life (most of them), take them up as challenge, try to find solution. But I do all this with an attitude of an onlooker. I do not engage myself emotionally in that, even if (especially when) it is about my own life. But one thing I know about myself is that I take everything personally, I am anxious about all small things, so sometimes even I am amazed at how coolly and with a disturbing nonchalance I handle the bigger issues of my life. I might be going through a really hard time, and would be enjoying everything as I normally do, I keep myself so busy with things (sometimes with ridiculously irrelevant things ) that I do not have to think about how I feel about all this. I do not want to see how I am affected by it, for I know every small thing affects me in ways no one would understand. But knowing that and facing that are two different things. I do not want to ask myself questions that I do not have answers to, whose answers even if I know will be more difficult for me to handle. I do confront my feelings and act them out, only when I am pushed to. That’s when I loose my cool. When I do loose my cool, when I get into why rather than what, I turn into this hysterical person that I don’t want to be.

And here is why this confuses me more, one of the reason that I write is so that I can see all these feelings without having to claim them as mine. I can write about feelings of a character and somewhere in his pain flows my pain, so much that they become inseparable. It is not about me, but it is still about me.

But I do not try to change myself, I believe the way I behave and deal with things are the best possible way to deal with this life of mine. Something that works for me, even if at times it is ridiculous.

And this is exactly what I think about myself:

“He couldn’t figure out if she was immensely well adjusted or seriously messed up.”
― Jonathan Franzen

Day 1 – Quote Challenge

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Angela has nominated me to participate in 3 Day Quote Challenge and I can’t thank her enough for thinking of my blog. The mere fact that my blog crossed your mind is a really a big thing for me. Thanks a lot. 🙂

Here is the link to the post on her blog.

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Day 1:

“What we seek is some kind of compensation for what we put up with.”
― Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance

There are so many things that I don’t want to go through. And would do anything so that I never end up in the situation where an unpleasant reality is forced on me. After all the efforts that I take to keep my life peaceful, I do end up with all kinds of chaos and suffering in my life. I am not  complaining of how my life is lacking and how I deserve better (for somewhere in my heart I know that I also deserve worse).

There are nights, when I can’t fall asleep, cause I don’t know how long can I face all this, how long I can pretend to be strong. But there all also days when I wake up thinking of all that is possible if only I can endure a little more. One half of my heart is drunk on misery and other half on dreams. This misery and this joy are not related as cause and event. They are something that I must experience in parallel.

I think the scenarios of possible happiness are the only thing that has kept me alive till now.

Effort makes you

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Bottles thrown into sea

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Since when one has started dreaming, there were so many cries for help and so many bottles thrown into the sea, that it is amazing we still can see the sea when we should see only bottles.

Romain Gary

Windows

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“You turn a corner. There are the windows you never belonged behind. There, where it always was, is the sky.”

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“Reading Larkin”, James Richardson

Marvellous pages

Book reviews & much more. 😊Read & make connections with those marvellous pages

abbyinhallyuland

I celebrate beautiful Korean dramas.

Clear And Refreshing

Pop, indie and underground music in Japan

My Life Lived Full

If you aren't living on the edge, you're taking up too much space

joeyfullystated

Narrative of a Neurotic & Other Random Nonsense

Random Writings on the Bathroom Wall

This is all about my amazingly mundane south metro urbanite life cuz I like having fun as long as the Police aren't somehow involved.

TASHNEE .V.MAVEE

PERSONAL STYLE, FASHION BLOGGER AND LIFE EXPERIENCES

Susanne Haun

Kunst im Bereich Zeichnung und Malerei von Susanne Haun - Art special rawing and painting of Susanne Haun

Havoc and Consequence

(overcome your fears)

paeansunpluggedblog

songs unheard by the poet next door

lynz real cooking

lynz real life

A Reading Writer

I write because I read. I read because I write.

DoodleScribbles

Scribblings and scrawls of a hopeless romantic soul

From the Perimeter . . .

Thoughts & Poetry for all people Copyright 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 all content.

Björn Rudbergs writings

Poetry and fiction by a physicist from the dark side

Dragon's Lair

Poetry and Fire

hbhatnagar

Not-so-random thoughts

Just moon148

notonehundredfortyeightmoons.wordpress.com

In My Melody

Translated Chinese Pop Music