he sings the most beautiful song.
that the sky becomes a reflection of the heart
that he can barely carry in himself.
the words on his lips
they break, they sound different,
they sound like the first cry of a baby-
the violent coming to life.
they run and collide and shatter
against the rough indifferent surface
of this dying world, a not-so-bad world.
he becomes a not-so-bad singer.
as he runs out of breath and love
someone places a coin of gold in his hands.
he means to feel grateful for this compensation,
but all he can do is hold his tongue, hold his tears.
hold his bitterness in himself
and sing another song dreaming, waiting
for an honest reply, a genuine care,
an understanding gaze in return for laying bare his humanness.
Tag Archives: rough
The air fills my lungs,
and drowns me
and now I remembering things that I shouldn’t
I am remembering every moment of my incomplete death.
Someone cuts a window in my chest,
rips into pieces the words that shouldn’t get out.
A rough skin holds me a bit too long
with a bit too much force,
a bit too much neglect.
“ohhh…it was not love after all“,
I remember thinking this
as I closed my eyes wanting to forget this person
who has taken half of my life, so easily.
“For a brief moment I was loved“,
I wanted to say this at least.
I held on so long only for that sake.
But now I must breathe in the air
that I once thought I didn’t need as long as I had love.
and the me that i was, that you hated once, but not as much what i am right now
and your rough sketch of me that looks like bits and pieces of your past lovers
and your ticking clock, both waiting for me to change
and you habit of making me wait, of walking out on me
and your empty seat that you have already forgotten
with your air of arrogance that i pretend not to see for the sake of loving you
and your smile that sometimes (most of the times) have nothing to do with me
and your calls out of blue, calling me love, calling me heartless, throwing me away and calling me back,
and your words, your voice always asking for more
and your insistence of loving in past and hating in present
and your love that wants never to be associated with me
and your cruelty of always forgetting (only) me, forgetting the hurt you cause
asking me to love you back in spite of all, asking me to speak only in sweet words, never asking me how i made it through the pain you gave me last time, never wondering what do i want out of this love, that has no place for me
Thank you for seeing
my rough and the jagged mind,
blood running down my arm,
hope running out of my eyes.
Thank you for trying
and for telling me
when you couldn’t try anymore.
You have made me feel
that I also deserve decent goodbyes.
You cannot love me.
I could have loved you,
though I didn’t.
But it is fine.
Call me at the end of a tiring day,
when you cannot move one step further,
I will try to soothe your heart
just like you did.