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Tag Archives: sadness

“My Night sky” – Nayana Nair

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You dip your hand
in my heart,
kiss my poems
as they are.
You hold my pulse
in your wrist.
You hold my shadows
in your mist.
You can swim in the rivers of my night sky
studded with most beautiful words.
But I will be alone in my sadness
and you in yours.
For you cannot bleed with me
but only because of me.

“Some other time” – Nayana Nair

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I want to tell you
how you slowly became the tree
that guards me from the happiness and sadness
of the world,
and let me create my own.
How it was lovely to see you grow.
How it hurt to love you.
How beautiful you were even in the worst of your moments.
How I selfishly wanted to be the only scar on your heart
and only smile on your face.
How,on days that I desperately
looked for a reason to stay,
yours was the only name
that anchored me in this world.
I will tell you how I always lived
dreaming of death,
dreaming of release,
and how thankful I am that
you kept me alive.
I will tell you all this.
But not today.
Some other time.

“How many more lines” – Nayana Nair

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How many more lines should I write
for you to actually see
the happiness that creates ripples
under my skin at your smile.
The sadness that leaves marks
on my wrist,
on my neck,
at the end of everyday.
And the comfort of your presence
in whose warmth
my ever-flowing tears
find fingertips
that can hold and embrace them.
I carry a love in my heart
that can be accepted and
reciprocated by you,
but never understood.

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“Stop tugging at my clothes” – Nayana Nair

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Though I thought it would be difficult.
Each step I took with an ease
and with a courage
that I didn’t know
was there in me.
No sadness in the world
existed in my face or heart,
but only a child,
a smaller me, tugging at my clothes,
telling me to stop
trying hard to rescue me from my fate
from this realization
that this is what I have to do forever.
That one day the loneliness of my journey
will wear down my courage and me.

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“Bubble” – Nayana Nair

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There is so much
that the world doesn’t care for.
If we were to care for every thing that
has caused pain to every person,
we may never have been able to live happily
ever in our life.
And there would be a black fog
of borrowed sadness, that will be
the only thing we breathe.
We may cry a few tears of sympathy,
but after those few minutes
we live our life, as we have done till now.
It’s the only thing we can do.
Though it may seem selfish,
but I guess it is both tragic and good
that the cries and scream of this world
never break through
the bubble of our own happiness.
And our own sadness and joy
is bound by our own bubble.

“Anything I say” – Nayana Nair

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I like to start sentences
with ‘and’, ‘but’ and ‘so’.
To try to ignore
the long silences,
speechless voids,
that I was not able to fill.
So that I do not feel the burden
of breaking this fragile world of silence,
just to fill it with
hopeless words, full of despair.
I want to believe
that all the damage has already been done,
the world has been broken,
and will be broken again.
There is enough sadness
already in air.
That nothing I say
can make it worse.
And this assumption
is more sad,
than anything I say.

“I hope you believe” – Nayana Nair

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I hope you believe
when I say that
I am not good with words.
For I could fill pages
without giving it a second thought.
But I was never able to say
what needs to be said.
I could never tell anyone
what they mean to me.
I can never tell what I am thinking
without jumbling up my thoughts.
When you wanted to hear
simple words from me
I could never offer them.
I can give words to my sadness,
to my despair and my disappointments.
But I have no words in my mind
for any happiness.
Never had to use any.
Know that you make me happy.
That’s all I can say.
I hope you believe
when I say
I am not good with happiness.

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