“What are we doing now?” – Nayana Nair

Another chanceto get our highfrom the powdered dust of dreams,from digging desperately, getting closer to the voiceof the demons we buried just yesterday,breaking nails and curfews tosave the skins we can’t live without. Another chanceat making a home,choosing colors for our ceilings,choosing the sides we will sleep on,choosing not to be the ones we haveContinue reading ““What are we doing now?” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (29)” – Nayana Nair

At a bus stand in front of mall (that I have never been to)I learnt how to wait and how to live with disappointmentswithout making a big deal of it. In the bracket of an hour, I grew smaller than I ever thought I could be.“this is what love does to you, this is whatContinue reading ““What I Remember (29)” – Nayana Nair”

“News of my new love and loveless life” – Nayana Nair

DRAWING THE STARS WRONGall my hopes, now in your hands,feel like signs of trouble.i liked it on paper, the broken star in red ink,but not on my sky.can i undo my steps to you?will my heart break even if you leave my skin? STRIPPING YOU OF FLESHbefore i turn away from youthere are things thatContinue reading ““News of my new love and loveless life” – Nayana Nair”

“Pendulums and Spirit Animals” – Nayana Nair

In my beautiful dreamsI run to you, as if you are my body,as if I cannot press play without your hands,as if the world won’t come into my graspwithout your skin. When my eyes open,I don’t mind losing the worldif it helps me get rid of you. An animal in me cries out your nameContinue reading ““Pendulums and Spirit Animals” – Nayana Nair”

“Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair

In her loudest, happiest voiceshe told me aboutone of her near-death loves,how she wished her skinwould stop keeping her alive.She laughed at how we bothalways find something awfully painful or ugly in common,how we should probably never call each otherjust to remind each other of the spitethat lives in our blood. I moved her lacklusterContinue reading ““Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair”

“the constant part of love” – Nayana Nair

i remember your hands and their warmthlike i rememberthe versions of methat were easier to live with (or so i think).the colors, their unnatural brightness,the scent of acetone always lingeringon the tips of your fingertips,always hiding a sad rainbow (just my type).always a star that you forgot to rub and break,shined on your skin.under myContinue reading ““the constant part of love” – Nayana Nair”

“Fumbling for better words, better me ” – Nayana Nair

I find myself trappedbetween forgiveness and frustration. How often have I saidthat I want to be your strength.How easy it was to say itwhen I didn’t really know you or me. But nowwhen your breaking and my sadnessis of your makingI am fumbling for better words- words that can show my heartthat aches for youContinue reading ““Fumbling for better words, better me ” – Nayana Nair”

“Reduced” – Nayana Nair

One of these daysI might just stop loving youand that might just break me.But I feelI might be less cold,less reckless,and less patheticin that sort of breaking.I want to be reduced to myself for once.For once I don’t want to carry aroundthe magnificence of undelivered love on my shoulderand stand outside stores with doors tooContinue reading ““Reduced” – Nayana Nair”

“harmless” – Nayana Nair

i slipped, fell, and cut my skin.i didn’t want to care, but i did.i couldn’t help but feel sorry for all the harmless thingsthat ended up being cursed at, blamed foronly because i ran towards themwith all that i had in me.i recalled the formula of impact,that never meant so much to metill i realizedContinue reading ““harmless” – Nayana Nair”

“Portals” – Nayana Nair

the wafer breaks and crumblesmy teeth find a red muscle to killagain my mouth bleedsbut no iron strikes my tasteso i wait for iti wait for my imagined painto become real i look at my handsmy unsightly weak handsthey are portals to my past selfhow they weighed its emptiness even when they held youhow iContinue reading ““Portals” – Nayana Nair”