“Random Radio” – Nayana Nair

Don’t tell me of your love.
Tell me you’ll leave tomorrow
and stay a day more.
Move an inch closer
when I take your name.
Let me not believe you sometimes
and smile when I do.
I don’t want love,
but I will try to want it,
if you try to want me slowly and cautiously.
When you put on that random radio station
let me stare at you as you dance,
breathe as if I am not here,
let me see who you are without this want for me.
Smile when you catch my eye
and kiss me if I smile back.

“appetite” – Nayana Nair

god, don’t give me the ideal.
i have lived here too long.
now i can’t seem to love
anyone who is not a bit mean,
who doesn’t bite back.

i seem to only have the appetite
for unsure feelings.
i can only tolerate to hug
something that is breaking,
a breaking that nothing can stop or change.

and on the nights when i became aware
of my own faults and the end it is leading to,
i could only stop crying
because i was hugged back
by a faulty product of your factory .

thank you for breaking this world,
for breaking me
so slowly and so beautifully.

“This Life”- Nayana Nair

Slowly,

I am killing myself.

One drop at a time.

With each drop of time

that leaves this life,

I observe helplessly

but still having control.

Any second, I can save myself.

But I choose not to.

Everyone dies anyway.

Everyone is dying

this same death.