I have been collecting books on building sandcastles from the the remains of things humans leave behind. This is all I have ever read – how and where to find the stones called history, how to grind them so fine that they can forget themselves.
In my hands they become another extra leg of the ever wobbling chair that already looks like a monster, the miniature castle no one can live in, the gigantic dinosaur that won’t get the chance to destroy this world, the skyless blue that will keep dripping from the ceilings as long as people want to see the rain that won’t ruin the glow of their skin.
"People burn lamps of clarified butter
I've ignited the lamp of my heart.
People swear on their faithfulness
I've eaten the poison of separation.
People lose their heart in love.
People lose their heart in love.
I've also lost myself.
But still me getting extinguished
Was liked by my beloved"
-"Luttna", Cocktail
"Giving and receiving scars is part of being human
And I don’t think I was really scared of that.
I clashed against things like I was going to break
And I don’t think I was really scared of that."
-"Green Nocturne", Nell
"sometimes the roof of feeling leaks,
we remember old thirst,
but new clouds dance and rain,
they kiss the forehead with chains of drops..
it's the time to get soaked,
a new weather is standing nearby,
it's a small, but big thing.."
-"Dhoop Ke Makaan Sa", Break Ke Baad
"I guess that I
I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart"
-"We are young", Fun.
I love to hold exhibitions where people can look at something beautiful enough to make them cry and not even realizing that they are looking at something they never wanted to see again, that they are looking at themselves the way they never wanted to.
They might not understand this, but I do.
The “unnecessary” that is so easy to cast away is the only thing that their heart wants. That is the only happiness that feels like happiness.
"We imagined the future we saw together
on top of that high hill where a blue wind was blowing.
We launched a big paper airplane which flew anywhere,
carried by the wind.
You laughed loudly as you saw my distant look.
Your hat was blown off by a gust of wind, so I ran to catch it"
-"Control Tower", Galileo Galilei
"The headlight that shines into my heart
has become completely clean.
All of your memories fade out.
Inside the storm, my heart is green light"
-"Eraser", Taeyeon
"Cuz I taste you in every shot that I take down
But I feel so hollow"
-"Here Come The Regrets", Epik High
No one is innocent, no one is blameless.
Helpless they may be, ignorant more so.
But all who seek reality and stability have killed someone or something that was too weak to protect itself. That is how we become good enough, deserving, suitable to live in this world.
The ones who suffer grow up eventually. But they grow less and less each day.
So knowing this, how I am I supposed to hate these murderers? How can I not save all they burn as they cry?
"Fear takes a hold of me and my heart grows heavy.
And a sigh comes out of my mouth again.
Time made me into an adult,
but I don’t think it made me strong.
Time made me into an adult
but it made me that much more of a fool"
-"Green nocturne", Nell
"I am still the same person I was before
I am here, the same person I was from before, but
An overgrown lie is trying to swallow me whole"
-"Lie", Jimin (BTS)
"Here comes the rain
So many scars never fade
This is the price of war
And we've paid with time"
-"Fight the Night", One Ok Rock
"Today is a winding road that's taking me to places
that I didn't want to go
Today in the blink of an eye
I'm holding on to something and I do not know why.
I tried"
-"Thunder", Boys like Girls
So when they start hearing voices, when they feel that none of their masks fit their faces filled with fear- they come to me.
As they wait reading magazines filled with faces, bodies, lives, circumstances that are better than theirs, I sculpt a lie for them.
I call it a lie, because that is easy to accept, easy to display in their living room. Unlike truth, seeing it or showing it does not involve damage estimation.
This is how I make a scratch on the face of reality even when my hands are tied. This is the only happy ending I can give them, the only happy ending they can accept.
"This field is lined with the brave
Souls in relief
We'll fight fight till there's nothing left to say
(Whatever it takes)
Fight fight till your fears, they go away"
-"Fight the Night", One Ok Rock
"Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain"
-"Thunder", Boys like Girls
"So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home"
-"We are young", Fun.
No one is innocent, no one is blameless.
But they are weak. We are weak.
I need to save them. So they can save me somehow.
In their tears, I see the tears that I have not learnt to shed.
"Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent,
and we can learn to love again"
-"Just Give me a Reason", Pink
"We fight, fight till we see another day.
Whatever it takes."
-"Fight the Night", One Ok Rock
"Carry me home tonight"
-"We are young", Fun.
it rains in my heart 