“Enough for me” – Nayana Nair

She climbed the stairsnever pausing for a second.I knew what a second of thought could do.How it could pull back her stepsand let out her screams.I knew this is something she didn’t need. She climbed the stairsand walked towards me.Beside me, not exactly near,steps away perhaps she stood.And that was enough for me. Enough forContinue reading ““Enough for me” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (29)” – Nayana Nair

At a bus stand in front of mall (that I have never been to)I learnt how to wait and how to live with disappointmentswithout making a big deal of it. In the bracket of an hour, I grew smaller than I ever thought I could be.“this is what love does to you, this is whatContinue reading ““What I Remember (29)” – Nayana Nair”

“Always, Only” – Nayana Nair

You told me of love and what it does to your heartand how your heart wants to see me and love me alone.But it is too hard. A harder task than you imagined it to be. You loved me for my silence, for my grace of letting you go,and for the tears in my eyesalways,Continue reading ““Always, Only” – Nayana Nair”

“Fumbling for better words, better me ” – Nayana Nair

I find myself trappedbetween forgiveness and frustration. How often have I saidthat I want to be your strength.How easy it was to say itwhen I didn’t really know you or me. But nowwhen your breaking and my sadnessis of your makingI am fumbling for better words- words that can show my heartthat aches for youContinue reading ““Fumbling for better words, better me ” – Nayana Nair”

“Living some sort of life” – Nayana Nair

His face lit upwith the death of every colorful explosion in the sky.He hates this sky on other days(among other things).Today he loves it, this darkness,this crowd, even me.(Maybe not me,but it doesn’t mean anything to me now.But in moments like thisI am reminded of the “me” who would have wanted his loveor at leastContinue reading ““Living some sort of life” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (25)” – Nayana Nair

There is something beautiful about peoplewho lose themselveswhen they lose someone.The layer of sanity that cracks,the heart that lets the past take over-is a feeling I would never understand.And all I do in such weatheris wait.Waitfor my coping mechanism to kick in,to take the decision away from me,and let me forget the meaning of loss.Continue reading ““What I Remember (25)” – Nayana Nair”

“The Scale of 1 to 10 (part 1)” – Nayana Nair

#the feelings that I can’t own The nature of regrets that I have in my heart, the flowers that grow at the end of this knife, the watches that have run out of battery but pretend to have stopped time. I have so much space in me for things like these. I have so manyContinue reading ““The Scale of 1 to 10 (part 1)” – Nayana Nair”

“Redefining my Happiness” – Nayana Nair

so as the last effort to rescue methey came in,dressed in the ultimate cool lifestyle. they handed me all the tools that i might needto break away from the ‘sad’ in me.they filled me up with clocks that told the wrong time,told me that i would get used to the thrill of it. told meContinue reading ““Redefining my Happiness” – Nayana Nair”

“Experiment” – Nayana Nair

The unopened letters,the calls never picked,the feelings cut as a bud,the door knocks I chose to ignore-cover my ground in color of hope.Hope?Yes, hope. Like the messed up experiment of Schrodinger’s fictional pet,I continue to see hopetill I keep my heart closed.Are you still there inside me?Or are you long gone? I do not needContinue reading ““Experiment” – Nayana Nair”

“My place in this cruel landscape” – Nayana Nair

when i stood in front of the respected uncaring adultswho could never see me, beside the fickle-minded fun-seeking friendswho smoked ‘idgaf attitude’ every night, holding the handsof the demanding demeaning frightening voiceof the one i wanted to love,the one i almost loved, i knew how to smile.i knew how to let them off the hook.iContinue reading ““My place in this cruel landscape” – Nayana Nair”