“The thought of losing you” – Nayana Nair

Today you are silentand you don’t care.You have changedwithout changing anything about you.You don’t want to be concerned withshould-be or could-beas all that matters is what is.what-is is a fact that needs no forgivenessfrom what-didn’t-come-to-be.You beg me not drag you downinto the waters of the past, “They are uglythey are hard, they are things thatContinue reading ““The thought of losing you” – Nayana Nair”

“Random Radio” – Nayana Nair

Don’t tell me of your love.Tell me you’ll leave tomorrowand stay a day more.Move an inch closerwhen I take your name.Let me not believe you sometimesand smile when I do.I don’t want love,but I will try to want it,if you try to want me slowly and cautiously.When you put on that random radio stationlet meContinue reading ““Random Radio” – Nayana Nair”

“mornings break us apart again” – Nayana Nair

she traced the light on my chestpulled out everything that stung-the swings, my feet,the shadow i decided no longer to play with. the comparision table of veins and arteriescopied into my notebook.the eraser and pencil that helped me documentin those tables my lackings compared to everyone else. a page torn, and then another, and thenContinue reading ““mornings break us apart again” – Nayana Nair”

“I always fall behind” – Nayana Nair

All the lights that were meant to light the way,end up looking like spotlights fragmenting the world.Fragments so beautifulthat I never bothered with moving towards the place I was meant to go;that I sit here, saying goodbye to peoplewho hope to see me wherever they will end up at. But we won’t be seeing eachContinue reading ““I always fall behind” – Nayana Nair”

“Even if you don’t want me back” – Nayana Nair

From the corner of my eyeI see you smile,I see it fade.I see you fade. From the corner of my eyefalls a tear,as I run into my mistakes,run into my cruel words,as I try to find you,in this place where you once lead me by my hand. In every space, in every memory,in every versionContinue reading ““Even if you don’t want me back” – Nayana Nair”

“today’s forecast” – Nayana Nair

today’s forecasttold me about rainthat might turn to snowwhich might turn to pain in my knees,it might turn into wishing for summer(summer is always you lying on couch tired cursing gods for seasons you hate),it might move my hands towards the pillsthat rarely save anyone needing saving(i really don’t trust pills if you are notContinue reading ““today’s forecast” – Nayana Nair”

“incoherent” – Nayana Nair

i looked best dressed in incoherent words.everyone assumed that i am drunk on something.everyone assumed me to be an artist for that. any word that left my mouthwas just another way to pronounce self-doubt.the only way to stay and run away at the same time. the way i speak,“you are beautiful” and “i hate you”soundsContinue reading ““incoherent” – Nayana Nair”

“I have nothing of you” – Nayana Nair

I walked into troubles, into fogged minds,into friend circles that cultivated their alter egos on every meager piece of earth that they otherwise couldn’t plant their feet upon. I walked into crumbling cities, into impossible dreams,into the lifeless replicas of your heart-hoping you would come after me.But as time ate me upI just hoped thatContinue reading ““I have nothing of you” – Nayana Nair”

“Permanent” – Nayana Nair

my sad winter sunshinei am here for you.we can stay sad for however long you want.don’t worry,i don’t remember the happy you.i am not hanging around to see your other face.i have no affection for what you are trying to become again. i loved rain once.now snowfall is my new thing,you are my new thing-myContinue reading ““Permanent” – Nayana Nair”