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“New Scarf” – Nayana Nair

knitting-with-pink-yarn1

What really happens
when I untangle my lies
from my heart?
Could my heart bear the harshness
of cold glance?
Could my fingers really stop
knitting a new scarf of falsity?
There are better questions out there
that cannot touch or hurt me.
There are stories
where God has planted my struggles
in life of others-
for me to witness,
for me to relive,
for me to cry,
for me to heal
for me to forgive myself.

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“Days to come” – Nayana Nair

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The trees don’t whisper,
don’t console me with lies
that they have heard too many times.
They tell me that this sorrow won’t go away
atleast not without me.
That there will be days I will look at
the empty chair opposite me
and my coffee would taste of tears.
Days when I would wake up
with a blanket of despair over me.
That I will stop at certain words
and certain names,
and feel too broken in this happy world.
That I would stop taking certain roads.
Stop going to certain places.
So that my ache in my chest
won’t eat me up.
There will be day
when I would have given up
on all that I was.
And sure enough
the sorrow went away,
taking away everything we were.

“Lost you to light” – Nayana Nair

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stars

I remember the day that I found you
with eyes filled with yearning,
heart filled with doubt
and hands soiled with blood
of the your dreams
that you murdered everynight.
I found you in the land
where we had been banished to,
from a world of happiness
where our loved ones reside.

smallneonheart

I remember the day I lost you
to the light
that seemed more cruel than warm.
When you found your happiness and purpose.
When you couldn’t stop humming all day.
when you talked of future with smile.
When you found out what you wanted
and what you wanted was not me.
Makes wonder if I ever really loved you
if I resent you
for having what I want.

smallneonheart

“Crossing the River” – Nayana Nair

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I was on my way to a place
that only exists in my mind.
And with each footprint I left behind
it became more real.
And though I know I hated each second
of wandering without a map.
But I know I loved it too.
But sitting by this river.
Listening to water
eroding the underlying stones
one particle at time.
I think of how wonderful it would be
if I could just stop
and live here.

blueflower
I spend days by the river.
I don’t know
how many more I will spend.
And slowly I feel that
there is more to life than wandering.
But I also know
that one day I will regret staying.
Not knowing where I could have been
if I had only crossed that river.
Shall I stay or keep moving?
I don’t know.
I don’t want to decide now.
Let me stay a few more days in the peace that I never found.
In the peace that I always wanted.

Thoughts of Words

Hold Your Step Dear Traveler...--Michael Madhusudan Dutta

Idée Fixe

/ēˌdā ˈfēks/ noun; an idea or desire that dominates the mind; an obsession.

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