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“Far from Truth” – Nayana Nair

For someone who speaks so much
I mean so little of what I say.
I let myself be swayed too easily
and too often.
I foolishly take my passing feelings and poor judgments
as some eternal truth,
when they are not.

Today, I may talk of my wait
for this sorrow to leave my life.
Tomorrow, I will claim it as my only friend
from whom I do not wish to be apart.
All those contradicting words
are true and heartfelt
but only for that moment of time.
Tomorrow I may as well wake up and say that
my sorrow is you- my beating heart.
And I won’t be too far from the truth.

“I won’t be fine” – Nayana Nair

Why does your lie hurt me so
when I know it is a lie?
Why are we ready to act as if
things have gone wrong between us,
when you still love me like you used to,
when I still feel like it was only yesterday
that you changed my life merely by existing.


I want to love you and protect you all my life.
Why are you giving up this life we have together.
I am not so strong that I will tell you-
“don’t worry, i’ll be fine”.
I don’t want to say that.
I will break down if you are not here.
For it’s not only my heart that you have
you have everything of me.
If you turn away from me in spite of loving me,
how do you expect me to carry on living with ease?
I do not want ease.
I am ready to loose my sleep over you.
I know what I am promising
believe me as you have done till now,
I have never given you a reason not to.


Stay with me
even if our love becomes my ruin.
Stay with me
even if it pains you to see me like this.
Stay with me
for all the pains I take for you
and for all the care you have for me-
we can only have so many seconds to be happy
and every portion of my happiness
I want to give it to you.
Stay with me
and let me the only one
who has to carry the burdens of tomorrow.


The one who hold my hand
it has to be you,
no one else.

“What we won’t find” – Nayana Nair

I have spent every bit of my energy
trying not to cry, not to lose,
trying to believe that this suffering is fine,
that I’ll somehow make it through.
I struggle
to forget all the compromises
that have only given me new scars that no one can see but me,
to come in terms with the fact
that it is not my lacking that keeps me away from what I want
but the fact that I am not welcome where I am going,
I am not the one people want to see.

My heart, your love and happiness are both gone.
You cannot recognize them even if they return,
for my eyes have lost their light by seeing too much of this world.
We can be nothing more human version of disposable cups
to the ones who look through us, who live to hate us.
We will bleed till we die waiting for kindness that we won’t find,
for we are not made of stone even if every mirror shows us that we are.

Tomorrow, lets admit that we are not good enough,
lets just pack up bags and walk till we
find an easier dream or an easier death.

“Postpone” – Nayana Nair

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There are so many things
that I can’t be bothered with,
all the things I must do eventually.
I hope it is same for you.
Because all the time I have created,
all the cares I have swept under the rug
all that-
I plan to waste with you.
I hope you are not too caught up in life.
I hope you wake up today and tell me
what a waste of day it would be
if we spend it apart.
Lets push away every work
for a tomorrow that falls on a lonelier day.

“Yet we stay like this” – Nayana Nair

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The dust once again comes to life
under your sunlight.
My voice wavers again
not knowing what to say.
Not knowing how to move
in this air once agains feels like
the tomorrows we have lost.
The brokeness of our souls
looks for things to claim.
They dream to become the cracks
in this the wall that we have built for each other’s sake.
And yet we stay like this
not moving, not deciding,
not claiming each other’s affections.
As if we have eternities
to look at each other,
as if we have learned
to love in silence.

“My promise to you” – Nayana Nair

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I will place the promise of tomorrow

on your lips.

They will first taste of cyclones in my breath.

Then they will taste of desperate dying breath.

The will taste of light and of blindness.

They will taste of the dreams that slip from your eyes.

They will taste of the skin that

we are yet to grow.

They taste of things

that we are yet to lose.

I will place the promise of tomorrow

on your lips,

that will soon be your yesterday.

My promise will be memory of

passing trains and fading love.

“What next?” – Nayana Nair

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I never wish to wake up
to face this world
that always demands that I must dream.
And these dreams need to be big enough,
must require effort,
must involve sacrifice,
or at the least be tangible or materialistic.
And I feel something must be wrong with me
to know
that the only thing I want
is to be everyday like this.
Where each day I don’t have to decide
“What next?”
But rather live today where I am
and be tomorrow where fate takes me.
I could never plan for the years to come.
I never knew I would live this long.

“PLAYGROUNDS”-Nayana Nair

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The breaths not taken are accumulating.

It mixes with the tears not shed.

Creates a poison that lingers in my thought

but doesn’t flow into my blood.

To keep me barely alive to suffer.

Suffer from a poison of my own making.

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Slowly I forget

one small detail at a time.

I realize it only when I see this gap in memory

that my frail imagination fails to fill.

Words are slipping out of my hands.

My thoughts are no longer mine.

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All the parks have become graveyards.

Where tomorrow died a slow, slow death.

And it slips into an even slower decay.

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