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“Same World” – Nayana Nair

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From where I sit
I see the beauty that moves my heart
and makes me realize
why I am alive till now.
And though I love you
and wish to see the world with you,
I could never gather enough courage
so as to tug your sleeve
and ask you to follow my gaze.

I fear you will look at what I see
and mock my eyes, my mind
to be fascinated by the things
that for you are trivial.
Worse, if you take me away from the beauty I found
for you know better things.
Worse, if you refuse to look back
for you have better things to do.

I wish I could tell you my heart,
tell you my fears, tell you about the minutes
of my life where sometimes I feel I am trapped,
and sometimes set free in a world I cannot share with anyone.
It is enough, I guess, that I can hear your steps beside me
and believe that we are in the same world,
even when we are not.

“Residue of questions”- Nayana Nair

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Every smile I have ever faked
leaves a residue
of questions on my lips.
Asking,
“Why is it,
that this smile can’t be real?
Why is it,
that the world is so easily convinced by my lie?
Why don’t they try to break
this facade when they see it
in which I am trapped?”

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“Name It” -Nayana Nair

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Though you have bought me happiness

that I was not looking for.

While I felt that all the world was too cold

and I would soon be part of this ice.

That my heart will freeze into

this space my life has trapped me in.

How warm was your presence

You could never know.

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Though I have gone out of my way

to ensure your happiness.

And sat waiting for you.

Waiting, and not knowing , whether you’d come.

Cause there have been too many days, that you don’t.

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I had to remind myself time and again

not to forget,

how to find my way back home on my own.

And when I looked at you

as if my life revolved around you.

How I hated myself for it.

Cause there is still a part of me

that is cold.

And with you, I have come to know worse things

than being cold.

Is that why I can’t name it?

Name what we have between us.

Afraid that if I utter the word ‘love’

our heart would pain a little more,

knowing what we are losing.

Afraid that this is the best life can offer us,

best what we can offer each other

And knowing each second

that this is not good enough for both of us.

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