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“Cruel” – Nayana Nair

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I always had a sense of entitlement
when it came to dreaming of a lover.
That there would be someone
who puts me first.
But I realized with time
sometimes you have to be that someone
who puts others first.
That was such a terrifying and distressing thought.
And suddenly all these heroes
became somewhat out-of-the-world, larger-than-life
someone I can never be.

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To realize the pain
it must have taken
to scrap down their lives
for the sake of a person
whose love can’t be trusted or guaranteed.
How one must endure their own foolishness.
How one must look away from our own self.
Knowing all the while
that all this, built
by sacrifices,
can be broken in no time
with one word of hers,
that can end your suffering
and renew your struggle.
That there is no way out.
To cling
or to leave.
And to suffer each minute
no matter what you choose.

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It seemed so tiring
It seemed so cruel
to ask someone for that.

“Again” – Nayana Nair

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I have a memory of you from a dream.
And the only thing I remember is
a shadow, a silhouette,
that reminds me of
a love that hurts,
a trust that breaks,
and regrets
deep enough to last several lives.

Yet here we meet again.

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AND SLOWLY WE WALK”- Nayana Nair.

( Image taken from weheartit.com)

On the way to the library,

We both giggled as we talk,

When everyone was ahead in a hurry,

You stayed back with me and slowly we walk

 .

Here at this moment

I want

That this walk, this path would never end,

But I’d wish

You’d stop sacrificing you joys for my betterment.

 .

 .

As the others, our classmates play, merrily on ground

I dare not and would not go anywhere near,

You love to play, but you sit with me to hear bird’s sound,

From your eyes, I can tell, not words but hearts they hear

 .

Here at this moment

I want

Your eyes to hear my every thought and plight,

But I’d wish

You’d leave me, without me  as a burden, your life will be more bright.

 .

.

Its lunch time, and all the girls are talking,

You sit with me, leaving the company of all others,

In my world of solitude, you brought spring,

Then effortlessly, there comes a smile on your face and m sorrow withers.

 .

Here at this moment

I want

This smile to last on your face forever,

But I’d wish

I’d stop draining joys from your life and for a change I’d be the giver.

.

.

The wish is my mind and the want is my heart.

I hope someday the reason of my mind agrees with the song in my heart

I hope someday they’d be together not poles apart,

I hope someday they’d speak the same thing for a new start.

 .

.

.

But now

I want and I wish

Someday, for every happiness you give me,

I could give you one back too,

Someday for every suffering you go through for me,

I could do the same for you

 .

.

.

I hope someday

Instead of looking up to you,

I’d grow up to be you.

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