“Add to my Words” – Nayana Nair

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The silence, whose reasons evades your understanding,
doesn’t fit in the the 200 page guide to this world you have made,
that irritates you,
also lets you paint me worse that what I am,
lets you add footnotes to my words.

“Defeated Packets” – Nayana Nair

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While you read my words
and said,
“How strange is this world!”
Sunlight rushed in,
to hold a strand of your hair,
fell on these pages
and cried out like a child,
hurt that it could not have you.
I smiled to myself knowing what you meant.
These words of mine reminded you of the confusing
and volatile shores of right and wrong
that often you found yourself standing on.
And never knew when the land shifted,
when the tide came in.
Never knew when you changed your heart.
You thought it was strange.
But I know what your words mean,
it is same for me.
The strange feeling in my words
is a mere attempt to copy your strangeness,
your beauty.
So that the defeated packets of sunlight
can finally rest on the curves of your words.

“Scores of Misfortune” – Nayana Nair

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I find discontented people everywhere.
They have complains.
They have problems with people having problems.
They have problem with people whining about these problem.
They repeat every now and then
how this generation has been spoiled too much.
They want people to just bear it, to get on with life.
They preach how there is a measure of how unfortunate life can be
and the people with lower scores of misfortune
have no right to crib about it,
have no right to be sad.
They advise people to keep it in.
They want people to take charge of their life.
They want all the selfish negativity
out of the streets and paper.
I have never seen anyone complain more than these people.
And I don’t know why they don’t take their own advise.

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PS. Everyone would have wished away their sadness if it depended only on their will. Let’s not ridicule or criticize anyone for being what they are and feeling what they do. Let look at each other’s scars with understanding rather than judgement.

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“TONIGHT” -Nayana Nair

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There is a lot

I have to ask for.

A lot I have to pray.

Knowing love is not enough

To live a life.

I’d rather ask for respect.

I’d rather ask for understanding.

I’d rather have a heart that adores me.

I’d rather have a heart that feels my pain.

I’d rather ask for friendship.

I’d rather beg for care.

Love is meant to be all this.

But somehow it isn’t.

Tonight I won’t ask for all

That I have lost to love.

Tonight I won’t ask

For a change of heart, a miracle.

For tonight, sleep will be enough.

Is that too much to ask?

“VIRTUE OF FOOLISHNESS”- NAYANA NAIR

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Feeling the cold metal at her neck

In the cramped up space where she sat,

She looked out of the window, with her mind

Far way from what reached her eyes.

 

Reflecting, how foolish she had always been,

Foolish for believing people without any doubt,

To hold onto them even if they hurt her,

To accept people for who they are but never accept herself.

 

To have let go of her esteem for them,

To have thought that they’d value her, a fraction of how much she did.

 

And she thought of everything

She had done that led her to this day,

Where people saw her as someone not worth respecting,

For each time she would let go of her pride.

Not worth the effort, for she won’t demand it,

Not worth the love, cause she didn’t deserve it.

 

But as she cried at all the hurt,

The shame, the loss and herself.

With her hand held open

Waiting for a hand to hold it.

She turned her back to the past

That haunted her, that hurt her

To look at him, beside her.

 

And she remembered how she’d

Been more of a fool for him than anyone.

How she was foolish to make

Someone centre of her life,

To love someone more than herself.

For a girl who couldn’t bear

The scars of betrayed little affections,

How could she hope to survive

The love that’d shatter her.

 

For she knew

She was nothing and could mean nothing to anyone.

So how could she mean something to him?

She knew

That if everyone saw her as a liar

How could she expect him to believe her?

She knew

That she’d lost herself the moment she chose love above respect

How could she expect him to embrace her and take pride in her?

For she knew

What she was

She was just a fool.

 

But in spite of knowing this

She accepted the love she’d found.

For a moment she found meaning to live,

And she felt glad to be there

And to have known what her life could have been,

To have felt his love,

To have known that she’ll always be loved.

Anything else didn’t matter

For being foolish was her virtue

That led her to him.

 

And when she felt the warmth of his hands in hers

And saw him smile through all his pain,

She could see that he felt he was foolish to be there,

He was her foolishness,

And she was his.

With the same insecurities in his heart,

He chose to love her as long as he can.

As long as his soul could bear this pain.

As long as his heart could love.

As long as she would love him back.

So they’ll stay together as long as their stupidity allowed.

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