Another happy news
floats in the periphery of my vision.
-x-
Though it holds the love of those
who have found something to love,
something to live for-
it makes me restless.
I want to open these envelopes
and mean it
when i tell you
how happy I am for you,
but I am not.
-x-
I am sorry but I can’t be happy for you
because in your every word
that you have inked with excitement,
I am reminded that
I have never seen these same color in my own life.
When your letters find me,
they find me too broken.
I am sorry, I have lost too much of me already
and can no longer give you anything but empty words.
-x-
Live well dear.
Live your dream far away from me.
It will keep your happiness intact
and my bubble of ignorance unharmed.
-x-
One day
(if ever)
when I am no longer walking in my own darkness,
I will find you
and I will try to be the friend that you deserved to have.
But till then
I can only keep these letters unopened
and my happiness for you undelivered.
it rains in my heart 