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“Now I cannot hate myself” – Nayana Nair

Posted on

But now I am not
me anymore.
Now I cannot hate myself
like I used to before.
Liking myself was never option,
for me anyway.
If only I could be one person
with a constant heart,
maybe then I could have
understood myself with enough time,
could have found the heart to see myself
as a mere human that I am.
But this,
this possession of my body
and my heart
by a new unknown
everyday
is tiring.
Today
the loneliness that I couldn’t show,
the songs I was supposed to forget,
the kiss that never left my lips
all become my new self.
Tomorrow it will be something else.
But it is a tiring relief
to lose my hate to confusion.

“Melody Unknown”- Nayana Nair

Posted on

Its hard to breathe, its hard to see,

With these tears in my eyes,

I can barely move, I can barely stand,

On this pile of misery and lies.

.

.

Bubbles of happiness I see below,

From this pile that stands tall,

I want to be there, not here,

But my heart can’t bear another fall.

.

.

Still haunted by the memory of last fall,

That I took to chase my dreams,

Everything was just as it is now,

The same happy bubbles below, through which sunshine gleams.

.

.

Alone and Deserted, on this desolate pile,

Amidst this hopelessness I gear a new tone,

A tune, a melody, that whispers hope to my heart,

An encouragement it filled, that melody unknown.

.

.

So here I stand, to take a leap to escape,

rather than a leap of faith,

A desperate effort to escape ,

my worries, my life and my fate.

.

.

I know not whether I’ll reach that happiness,

those gleaming bubbles of joy I see.

what I know is even if I land on another pile,

I’ll never leave this joy, that melody instilled in me.

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