“I look at you and wonder how much of all this you understand” – Nayana Nair

.

The metal bubbles.
The knives and the rust reach
our softest tissue, our dearest happiness.
My skin, like his, is torn and sewed up.
A new design forced into our veins.
A new love written.
Something old and precious bleeds.
Something soft leaves our hold,
leaves our hands, our dreams cold.
The blessings, the gentle shade,
the sun showers –
all a memory too unreal to be trusted now.
Soon we will speak of love
and not mean each other.

“How do you want to be saved?” – Nayana Nair

.

I crawled to the window
in my dress torn by the claws and cries
of people who live in my nightmares.
They like clean living rooms, dark courtyards,
and cars with slashed tires sitting in their garage.
They have
“broken hearts” written down in forms as their identity
and broken chandeliers swept under their bed.
They crouch down and look at me
as the broken lights shine red,
as I see myself bleed beautiful rivers,
as my silent scream become winds, become ripples,
becomes the face that will forever make me cry.
They smile and ask me
“What do you wish? How do you want to be saved?”
while someone else burns the bed that I am crushed under
and asks me “Is this the what the warmth felt like in your mind?”
They drag me out into a forest,
where under the brightest tree of hope,
they stuff darkness into my throat, into my mind
and ask me “Do you still feel empty?”
They are unreal and of unsound mind.
They tell me living in me makes them so.
They wave goodbye to me with a smile,
offering me a sweet candy
for my silence and understanding
It is raining when I open my eyes.
I breathe in the world
where bleeding and burning is irreversible,
where it would lead to an end of some kind.
I crawl to the window
in my torn dress and my exhausted skin
and find myself staring
at people who used live in my nightmares,
people who look more real that the living me.
People who now own more than just my dreams.

“Unreal” – Nayana Nair

I sat among friends
and smiled when they took your name
and placed it carefully beside mine.

I laughed, had another drink,
looked away, hiding in myself
holding dearly
the part of you beating in me.

As I negated every joke
made at our expense,
knowing how silly it all was.
I realized, this – our ridiculously sweet love,
our hearts filling and overflowing
with a happiness so unreal,
how I feared losing it all.

“Menu” – Nayana Nair

My lover, you gave me sweet words,
so many,
so much
that I thought it can cloud my sour heart.
But as you retire into the backdrop of everyday life,
all that you promised
seems more unreal.
Another thing to wait for.
I am not good at waiting.
But I am good at thinking and preparing
for all that won’t happen.
Give me a menu of all tastes and vision
that are there in the world.
Let me decide the places we will live,
the weathers we will suffer.
Let me know of the heartache
that is not for my own sake.
Let me believe that what I want actually matters
even if it doesn’t.
The diluted versions of love
are not enough for me now.
I can only dream of grand heights.
I can only fly in a great fall.
Tell me a better lie before you leave.

“Picture Perfect”- Nayana Nair

The minute you switch on TV….the only thing you can clearly see ( though people don’t accept that) is that television, books, movies and almost anything….through which you can mint money….run by exploiting the fantasy and the craze girls and women have about this ” picture perfect world”…from perfect color, skin, world, dress..and even a prince charming (that’s how axe and all the rubbish things get sold…)

it seems that hadn’t the girls been there in the world…the market would run dry….

This article I’m writing currently is not to put blame on industries, advertising companies…or anyone who’s exploiting our fantasy….our imagination…

This is not about blame….

The fact that I’m trying to point out is that….most of the girls have this notion that everything needs to be perfect..they thrust their expectation upon others..even themselves…they want themselves to be perfect, others to be perfect and in short the world to be perfect. I know what I’m talking…because I’m a girl….and I have experienced that…

They drown themselves in the huge ocean of romantic books, movies ….why? …just to escape…..escape from what?……..from the fact that’s nothing’s going to be perfect…..ever …EVER…….

So they are pleased to hear…..and pleased to see that perfectness the imaginary world offers…..and never knowing that they are reinforcing this belief of perfectness again and again…..that they are never going to achieve……

So what’s wrong in that?..nothing….Even I’d love to watch those movies and read those books…but the problem in this whole scenario is that even in our real lives we measure the other person with the same standard we have seen in that imaginary world…..and nothing compares to that……..we are again then disappointed the see the imperfect world…so gain we drown ourselves in that ocean…this cycle never ends…….

What I’m trying to tell my fellow girls…for their own benefit…

STOP…STOP….daydreaming…..

go out…and live the life you want to live…don’t waste your time waiting for a stupid prince charming that may never come…or whose charm may not last no longer than the second they open their mouth to prove their stupidity.

if you want to go to beach…..go…do whatever you want…find time to do what you love……

the problem we see these days……..is that these girls are not in love…..they are desperately in love with the idea of being in love……..

if you want to dream….dream about , think about what good can you do with your life, what can you achieve in these finite breaths that you’ve got remaining in the bank account of your life….

There are people who who actually deserve your attention, your love….and let me tell you that these people are far away from perfect……and don’t waste your time to turn them into perfect being…..perfectness is boring….its only appealing in imagination……real life is all about imperfection…

Love is not about finding that perfect guy….(anyone can do that…its not love)

Love is all about finding someone who you can love even though they are imperfect..even though they maybe complete jerks….even though they might hurt you…..even if they break your trust…..

you may think that’s not possible but that’s what reality is…you are imperfect to everyone around you…if you don’t believe that…see this article I’m writing criticizing you and trying to improve you (see even i’m trying to make everyone perfect)…so even though you’re not perfect your family, friends ………everyone loves you that’s why they are there…still with you..

.the imperfect you…