this is not how i should be – Nayana Nair

I hate to admit this to myselfbut I can’t quite understand you.At worst, I judge your unreasonable feelingsand your self-indulgence.Often I step away and try hard to feel your painand yet it escapes me.Whatever I imagine is the landscape of your heart is,it is never quite correct.Something really important,probably a loss that I have neverContinue reading “this is not how i should be – Nayana Nair”

“Cheap Literature” – Nayana Nair

Don’t ask which part of meare easier to love. I have tried so hardto become someone who cannot be be lovedwithout effort or tears. My faith in love,my faith in those who loveor it’s absenceis not so difficult to explain. Clue: Every pop song that leaves you in shambles.Clue: The books that you call cheapContinue reading ““Cheap Literature” – Nayana Nair”

“Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair

Unlike your descriptions,the green doesn’t wait for the sun.It doesn’t know what waiting is,what the word ‘sun’ is, it doesn’t even knowthat you are the its spokesperson. I am not coming at your throat dear,it’s just that I feel, as time passesthat you see me more as that greenthan your woman. You cut my sentencesContinue reading ““Don’t tell me” – Nayana Nair”

“Absolutes” – Nayana Nair

From my grip I lose yet another word- now alien to my lips and life. From the corner of my eyes, I watch it die the same death as me. Now the stories I told myself have become a little more unreasonable, when the words and ideas that I took as absolute turned out toContinue reading ““Absolutes” – Nayana Nair”

“Eroding Structures” – Nayana Nair

I checked my diaries for the hints of regrets, for the eroding structures of demands I once made from life. I checked my skin for the trace of scars- the remains of the unreasonable yet necessary decisions. The sharp bleeding memory of the blade, of the hatred I inflicted on myself. I checked the outlineContinue reading ““Eroding Structures” – Nayana Nair”

“There was…” – Nayana Nair

There was a wrong story that we were born into. There was world of violence outside. But in the room made of unreasonable and unreachable dreams- there was music, there was you, there was me. The impossibilty of being happy in the life that ate us from within and our ridiculous effort to be everythingContinue reading ““There was…” – Nayana Nair”