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“Fade” – Nayana Nair

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Slowly you scribble
one last goodbye
on a piece of paper,
that I will spend my life holding .
Slowly you will fade
as you walk away from me
into a future
that blooms in my absence.
Slowly I fade
waiting for you
into a past
that never left me.

“Screen” – Nayana Nair

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I read my words,
and could only see me, as person
walking on the crowded streets
after spending hours of attention
on a screen that blurred the
alphabets and left in my eyes
the only image of me
looking at this screen forever.
I saw someone
who could not bear life.
I wondered when I became a person
only concerned with knowing
this sadness that breathes with me.
I saw someone who I feared and knew
I would become
or I always was.
I became the living shadow
of the ‘me’ that never was.
I read what I write,
and decided never to read them again.
I see what I am,
and decide not see myself again.

“Step into the memory” – Nayana Nair

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I sing them a song
in the voice that may soothe their hearts
but fills me with feelings
which are very similar to words
like choke, suffocation and breathlessness.
Though you might not think twice about it,
I know what I have done.
I have walked into the prison that my life was.
But I love myself for taking that step
into the memory of darkness
that cannot actually hurt me.
It is just remains of the hurt that was.
But here I also find remains of ‘me’ that was.
And I am happy for I know
rarely do people get chance
to become what they were, even for a minute.

“How I spend my seconds” – Nayana Nair

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I look at your eyes
and notice the tone of your voice.
Every second, each day
afraid that something I do,
or something I say
might offend you.
I walk around your shadow
and you wonder why my touch,
why my words are so cold.
I wonder how long will I
keep you in my heart,
where you don’t want to stay anyway.

“Would you be kind enough” – Nayana Nair

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Would you be kind enough
to take a walk with me.
To the abyss I am heading to.
To witness my destruction,
to shed a tear for what I could have been.
To make me into a beautiful poem.

“More or Less” – Nayana Nair

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It was more or less like waiting
Only there was no excuse of distance between them
Though they walked hand-in-hand,
they knew
this was not all they could be.
Just like noises of traffic merging in the call of birds.
They knew the love they want and the love they have
was not so much different.
It was more or less the same.
Or at least they soon will be.
It was not a question of which person.
It was a question of
how much,
how long.

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And they have not lived an eternal life
to believe in eternal love.
But they kept it in mind
played with this idea,
scrutinised it,
made fun of it,
wished for it.

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As they wait for their love to
become bigger than themselves,
they have no choice but to be who they are
and live the life they know.
Soon this love will numb their pain.
But it takes time for poison to work.
But it will.
It always has.
Poison, too, can be a medicine.
It is just a matter of
how much,
how long.

AND SLOWLY WE WALK”- Nayana Nair.

( Image taken from weheartit.com)

On the way to the library,

We both giggled as we talk,

When everyone was ahead in a hurry,

You stayed back with me and slowly we walk

 .

Here at this moment

I want

That this walk, this path would never end,

But I’d wish

You’d stop sacrificing you joys for my betterment.

 .

 .

As the others, our classmates play, merrily on ground

I dare not and would not go anywhere near,

You love to play, but you sit with me to hear bird’s sound,

From your eyes, I can tell, not words but hearts they hear

 .

Here at this moment

I want

Your eyes to hear my every thought and plight,

But I’d wish

You’d leave me, without me  as a burden, your life will be more bright.

 .

.

Its lunch time, and all the girls are talking,

You sit with me, leaving the company of all others,

In my world of solitude, you brought spring,

Then effortlessly, there comes a smile on your face and m sorrow withers.

 .

Here at this moment

I want

This smile to last on your face forever,

But I’d wish

I’d stop draining joys from your life and for a change I’d be the giver.

.

.

The wish is my mind and the want is my heart.

I hope someday the reason of my mind agrees with the song in my heart

I hope someday they’d be together not poles apart,

I hope someday they’d speak the same thing for a new start.

 .

.

.

But now

I want and I wish

Someday, for every happiness you give me,

I could give you one back too,

Someday for every suffering you go through for me,

I could do the same for you

 .

.

.

I hope someday

Instead of looking up to you,

I’d grow up to be you.

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