“a way out” – Nayana Nair

I saw youin a moment abandoned by every story.I saw youslowly circling the window of lifeto find a way in.I watched you,waited for youas I lay on the painful bed of abandon,as I wrote my hundredth songon the beauty of giving up.With my eyes glued to youI ate another scoop of airand lied about theContinue reading ““a way out” – Nayana Nair”

“Zooming In” – Nayana Nair

When I sit stillI am not waiting.I am thinking of what is notand why it should never have been.I zoom into every empty spaceand practice how to look away when it hurts me.I remove my watch from my wristand place it next to plate for a better viewand a ruined palate.I start from the namesContinue reading ““Zooming In” – Nayana Nair”

“this service is no longer available for you” – Nayana Nair

i sat on the sofawith my feet curled under the warmth of my wingswhile next to me, my sadness surfed channelsand forced me to watch things that could make me crybut they didn’t. someone has left the door open againbut i can’t be bothered todaywith calling out to anyone.i hear someone talking about“‚Ķdeserving to beContinue reading ““this service is no longer available for you” – Nayana Nair”

“The Scale of 1 to 10 (part 1)” – Nayana Nair

#the feelings that I can’t own The nature of regrets that I have in my heart, the flowers that grow at the end of this knife, the watches that have run out of battery but pretend to have stopped time. I have so much space in me for things like these. I have so manyContinue reading ““The Scale of 1 to 10 (part 1)” – Nayana Nair”

“Putting myself to sleep” – Nayana Nair

Every nightas you sleep,I fold myself upinto someone I used to be.I try to fit into the space beside youwhere no longer fit. But your warmth now only brings me tears.I wish it didn’t.Even though I stopped wanting you,I don’t think I stopped loving you.I wish I didn’t.I know I will give you up somedaybutContinue reading ““Putting myself to sleep” – Nayana Nair”

“Pay it off” – Nayana Nair

Most my life is aboutstanding at the edge with the othersand choosing whether to push them firstor giving up on myself, by throwing myself away.And all my decisions have ended upin wait for someone else to decide my fate.Wait long enough to think we are friends who are here watching the world set on theContinue reading ““Pay it off” – Nayana Nair”

“Come Apart” – Nayana Nair

We believed (or wanted to) that this world where we won’t be staying for long will be always there, will the stay the same even when we leave. That our eyes have captured something eternal. But even the stars that we believed in were in fact dying, so far away that we didn’t even know.Continue reading ““Come Apart” – Nayana Nair”

“I don’t want to be kind” – Nayana Nair

Excuses are futile, reasons unnecessary.You may have sad storybut who doesn’t.I don’t want to know what you went through.I don’t want to melt my indifference and disregardand become the only character who suffers for their understanding.I don’t want to be that lone person who considers even small actionsso that the ones who are already hurt,don’tContinue reading ““I don’t want to be kind” – Nayana Nair”

“Unsettling” – Nayana Nair

One day I was watching TV or I thought I was until it seemed that the boy whose silence alone was unsettling to many, the loud girl who dreams of becoming the nightmare she suffers, even the clueless proud parent who try hard to be cool were all angry, everyone was shouting not at eachContinue reading ““Unsettling” – Nayana Nair”

“New Limitations” – Nayana Nair

I tended to all the brokenness that now remained on your skin after they found you at places where they didn’t want you to be. I hoped it was only your skin that was red and sore. The more silent you sat, the more my heart worried. As you tired to smile for me IContinue reading ““New Limitations” – Nayana Nair”