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“Farewell” – Nayana Nair

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The sunrise that I always wanted to see
slipped out of my hand and eyes once again.
Though my heart feared falling asleep,
my eyes could not longer bear to stay awake.
And I found myself in the only place
where I can’t fool myself by smiling hard.
As my mind deserted me here, as it always does,
it only left me with broken words of farewell:
“why me…it’s hard…and it keeps getting hard…i want to give up”

“You can’t”, you whispered from my heart.

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“What you want” – Nayana Nair

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Your heartbeat whispers
the sounds and songs
that I lost to life.
Here by your side
I find myself again.
In this embrace
I can finally heal.
But sadly this is not
the girl you want.
So I say,
“I’ll be broken,
if you like me broken.”

“Days to come” – Nayana Nair

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The trees don’t whisper,
don’t console me with lies
that they have heard too many times.
They tell me that this sorrow won’t go away
atleast not without me.
That there will be days I will look at
the empty chair opposite me
and my coffee would taste of tears.
Days when I would wake up
with a blanket of despair over me.
That I will stop at certain words
and certain names,
and feel too broken in this happy world.
That I would stop taking certain roads.
Stop going to certain places.
So that my ache in my chest
won’t eat me up.
There will be day
when I would have given up
on all that I was.
And sure enough
the sorrow went away,
taking away everything we were.

“Same Mistakes” – Nayana Nair

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Do not tell me your secrets.
Do not open your heart.
I have done same mistakes.
The boundaries that you erase
for the sake of love,
can never be made again.
It is a sad thing to bear
for you will always feel the hands
of your love
whispering of death.
They leave everytime
and yet death doesn’t come.

“Words of Hope” – Nayana Nair

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handnotes

There is a soft tune that
moves beneath your fingers
as they move over the pages
and words and worlds
that you will never see.
All the words of hope
that I whisper
to the you
who exists within these barriers
of skin, bones and sorrow.
I fear these words will be like the music
that doesn’t stop but fades,
dissolving into time and distance.
Like that music
it will pass from me to you,
from you to nothingness.

 

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“Dreaming of Love” – Nayana Nair

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If we were not here,
if we were not conveniently together,
but lived in places far apart
with only a bleak memory,
our companion,
the proof of our time together.
If we could not hear
each other’s voice everyday
but carry each other’s whispers
in the folds of our skin.
Do you think
we could have known each other better?
Do you think
we could have loved better,
By being far away?

vvefeffer

These arms that ache
by holding each other tighly,
in some other time,
in some other place,
may have yearned for a mere touch.
In that world,
I imagine myself
sitting in my backyard.
Looking at the never ending rows
of trees that I cannot name.
And wonder if our separation
will be as long as the life of these trees.
Will these silent friends of mine, these trees,
in this lifetime
know my happiness to have found you at last
as they have known my long wait?
I feel in some other world,
we exist like that,
our love exists like that.
I feel they must be dreaming of love
that we have right now.

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“INFINITE NIGHT”- Nayana Nair

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The shadows didn’t exist nor any shades,

It was dark and black that never fades

Sounds,whisper,laughter and lament

Of people like me who came and went.

The dark didn’t frighten nor depress me,

For it was like this, from the time I’ve seen

From people I heard of lights and rainbows,

Things all have heard and no one knows.

We kept walking aimlessly and directionless

We kept walking cause that’s the only thing to do.

Sometimes I’d bump into sweet sounding people,

People who like me had always been walking.

We talked of things not-yet-ours,

of days not-yet-come

Of things that would change our lives

Of things that would bring our death.

And heard tales of light,

weaved in hope and lies

Of hanging drop of light,

That carries the weight of the night.

And we never spoke of our walk,

Of the times we’d fallen,

Of times we trampled people

In search of the light.

I guess that was what

The darkness was about.

To move forward in spite of all.

To reach a fine moment

In this infinite night

When we no longer have to walk.

Till another darkness engulfs us all.

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