“Would I Know Such Day” – Nayana Nair

.

If I didn’t try
to breakout of my bones
so often.

So often
facing the noisy swallows of regrets
eating out of my mouth,

holding my insides,
choking myself
to kill all my ugly butterflies.

Would I know
what normal is?
Maybe not.

Even then I may have stood away.
Far far away
from where love lives and love works.

Or at least that is what I am told everyday.
That only my cracks and my seeping blood
makes me different, makes me special.

What makes me hurt myself, hate myself
I am told to embrace it back
only because it is beautiful.

So that is what I do,
I embrace it even if it kills me,
till it kills me.