“What I Remember(9)”- Nayana Nair

I tell myself stories about
why I threw away all that I had,
or why everything was taken away from me.
How I was too weak, will always be too weak
to carry the weight of the gifts that I had.
Or how I was never quite convinced
that I had something to be proud of.
How I was always trying to gauge
how much deep my feelings ran
for everything that I could only sort-of-love.
I can list all similar attempts
where I sought a better quantitative understanding of my specialness
and used these unreliable results to decide how and when to give up.
But if I had to give one consolidated story of
why I was never a failure at anything,
why I never succeeded,
why I had nothing to show for the years I lived
or for the talents that people remember me for.
If I had to be concise and true
I would say
I never made those decisions,
I was never aware of how I felt about
all the things that bother me now.
I drifted away from what I was, from what I treasured,
the way dear friends lose touch, lose each others name,
lose a happiness they could have had.
Only to be reminded of this loss
when it no longer matters.


  1. Cass says:

    This is so beautiful and so real. It definitely comes from deep within and this resonates so much to me.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      I am so glad to know that you liked my work πŸ™‚ Nothing makes me more happy than to know that my work and my feelings are relatable to another person.
      Thanks a lot πŸ™‚

  2. poetryfromtheinkwell says:

    You are such a wonderful writer. And loss is like that, coming back to us after it ie long gone.

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you for such kind words 😊 means a lot 😊

      1. poetryfromtheinkwell says:

        You are kindly welcome πŸ™‚

  3. Jehona Thaqi says:

    This is beautiful, yaar!

    1. Nayana Nair says:

      Thank you so much yaar 😊😘

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