“I can’t hear your sighs” – Nayana Nair

I can’t hear your sighs

while you think I do not care enough.

I would love to bind myself and my life

around you,

Had I not been so sure

that freedom is the only measure of happiness for me.

The love they talk about

is not in my heart.

I can’t harbor such sweetness.

I can’t live in surrender.

I was not made for that.

My heart was not made to be loved,

but to be cherished.

I won’t settle for anything less.

I do not ask for anything more.

My idea of love was never

the protection or sense of safety I always lacked.

Or admiration true or false

that could put to sleep the complexes I have.

Or to be touched in ways

that make human hearts race.

My idea of love was

to be so precious to someone

that they you never

change me or break me.

You changed me.

You broke me.

And I only remember the sighs you took while doing so.

Making me feel less than what I am.

But still, I breathe the same air as you,

Cause,

Once,

You almost loved me.