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“What have my eyes lost sight of ?” – Nayana Nair

As I sing your praise
I end up recalling
how I used to look at you
as if you could save me.
But now we stare at each other
while my life remains what it is.
I don’t call it a mess now,
to get some sympathy out of you,
to get a miracle out of you.
I don’t call it a blessing
just so that you would know
that I appreciate what you gave me
and hope to get a little bit more.

One song, one hymn after another.
I play at the seams of my skirt.
I pick at the skin that I once was.
“is this how we lose ourselves?”,
I want to ask you.
“is this we become who we are,
by cracking and crumbling invisibly,
the moment to mourn-lost forever,
the innumerable funerals no one grieved at,
is this why growing up is painful for all?”.

Instead of prayers
I come to you with only questions.
Instead of your forgiveness
I end up asking your understanding
for what I have done and what I have become.

About Nayana Nair

Hi, I am Nayana Nair. I'm 25. Just a crazy girl who has tons of things to talk about....not much organized thoughts sadly. I like to talk about everything...mostly..every conversation of mine turns into a monologue.... So I decided I should start writing a blog..rather than chat.... I'm very much passionate about music, psychology and literature.... Moderate interest in science..... I always want to be a writer (and also a teacher)..But I don't think I have the skills required...this blog is just my attempt at becoming the writer I always wanted to be...Blogging for few years, I have realized I am more of a poet (although, I am not sure that I am good enough for that label)...I hope I realize more about myself through writing. Thanks for dropping by!! Hope I didn't disappoint. :)

9 responses »

  1. So sad Nayana. There are some wonderful phrases in this poem. Like “innumerable funerals no one grieved at.” That says so much. Lots of love to you Nayana.

    Reply
  2. indeed we pray for an assessment, forgiveness is sought for by the ones who are sure what they have done or become.

    Reply
    • True. You have put in words that so beautifully. I had this vague feeling, which you could point out for what it is.
      I wonder if those who are not certain of who they are, whether they are looking for the certainty or do they fear it.

      Reply
      • I am glad I made sense. As for the uncertain, I join you in wondering.
        On a different note, fear manifests itself by finding reasons to reinforce it, that certainty it seeks when the proverbial horror story heroine enters the dark room against all logic.

      • “fear manifests itself by finding reasons to reinforce it”- beautiful thought. I think that is so true. But as you said, against all the facts, all out previous experience, the proverbial horror story heroine at some points decided to enter the dark room. 🙂

      • Yeah my advice to Nayana is be the heroine but stay away from those rooms, you may find strange things like ESP in one 🙂

      • he he 🙂 😀
        will remember you advice 🙂 😀

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