“Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair

In her loudest, happiest voiceshe told me aboutone of her near-death loves,how she wished her skinwould stop keeping her alive.She laughed at how we bothalways find something awfully painful or ugly in common,how we should probably never call each otherjust to remind each other of the spitethat lives in our blood. I moved her lacklusterContinue reading ““Waiting for the fireworks to end” – Nayana Nair”

“there are hopes that do more bad than good, you are one of them” – Nayana Nair

i can see youonly when i look back. when i fall and breaki hope to be foundonly by you. but i remain fallenin you,in the hopethat only walks with you. such a sad comfortthis love is.

“maybe once” – Nayana Nair

his name doesn’t feel like a dying world now.once,maybe onceblue was his favorite word,i was his favorite person thing medicine game hopebut now that he is burning all his notebooksi believe life is getting better for him.he paints skies for me, paints me flowersthat have never known cold.once,maybe oncei could let myself rest in himbutContinue reading ““maybe once” – Nayana Nair”

“Anomaly of the Art Class” – Nayana Nair

I row my heartto the moon you drew,the one you colored in greenignoring every reality,for which you got an D,for which I lost a part of me. I no longer hold onto the poems filled with dread-dread of rejection, of future, of finding myself eventually broken.I see something that you have left behind in me.SomethingContinue reading ““Anomaly of the Art Class” – Nayana Nair”

“The Scale of 1 to 10 (part 4)” – Nayana Nair

I have been collecting books on building sandcastles from the the remains of things humans leave behind. This is all I have ever read – how and where to find the stones called history, how to grind them so fine that they can forget themselves. In my hands they become another extra leg of theContinue reading ““The Scale of 1 to 10 (part 4)” – Nayana Nair”

“Even if you don’t want me back” – Nayana Nair

From the corner of my eyeI see you smile,I see it fade.I see you fade. From the corner of my eyefalls a tear,as I run into my mistakes,run into my cruel words,as I try to find you,in this place where you once lead me by my hand. In every space, in every memory,in every versionContinue reading ““Even if you don’t want me back” – Nayana Nair”

“in this castle of forever” – Nayana Nair

i held on,only because i fearedi might regret giving up on someonewhom i could have probably loved again with time. i held on even whenthis scenario of finding love in you again didn’t give me any happiness. love only taught me fear.fear of hurting you.fear of being hurt. in this castle of foreveri haunted theContinue reading ““in this castle of forever” – Nayana Nair”

“What I Remember (19)” – Nayana Nair

there are morningswhen i have forgotten how to forget.i open my eyesonly believing the dream just broken.there are morningswhen i hate myself for waking upand my body for needing reality so much. “i cannot give my heart to you”,i remind myself to say this as i gulp down a glass of chocolate milk,in case someoneContinue reading ““What I Remember (19)” – Nayana Nair”

“What have my eyes lost sight of ?” – Nayana Nair

As I sing your praiseI end up recallinghow I used to look at you as if you could save me.But now we stare at each other while my life remains what it is.I don’t call it a mess now, to get some sympathy out of you,to get a miracle out of you.I don’t call itContinue reading ““What have my eyes lost sight of ?” – Nayana Nair”

“when the clouds part” – Nayana Nair

youare my loneliest dream.but you are a dream nonetheless.i am bound to find my skin stuck to yours.i am bound to run through darknesssometimes because you, sometimes for you.and when the clouds part,it is fatedthat i fall for your smile lit by a certain sorrow.even as you burn me, even if you try to findContinue reading ““when the clouds part” – Nayana Nair”