“Contribution” – Nayana Nair

And here is my contribution to
the map of human unhappiness.

“Murky Waters” – Nayana Nair

As I drop one stone after other
into the murky waters
with dust that never settles.
I find sounds in the air, forming words
which were almost lost under the blankets of pain.
I do not try to find the one who
cried out these words.
I just add them to the stones
that are destined
to be overlooked, buried or drowned.
I throw the stones that must be thrown.
So that this dirt, that my heart
never settles.
So that these sorrows can find
a home and a reason
to grow old and die.

Versatile Blogger Award

Hi,

So my soul sister UNIVERSE FIREFLIE nominated me for this award. Thanks a lot dear. 🙂 I am flattered that you like my blog and you thought of it. If you have not visited her blog, do visit. She writes wonderful stuff. 🙂 :D. Here is a link to her post on this award:(Click here)

So the rules:

-> 7 facts about me. (reminds me of those introduction in new schools, which made me so tense that I would end up forgetting who I am)

-> Nominate 15 bloggers for the award. (I might skip this rule, not sure, but today I don’t feel like doing this)

Facts:

(Warning: This can be boring. I am not that interesting person.)

1. I have maybe 2-3 diaries filled with quotes and the number of diaries will keep on increasing. I love making note of every beautiful thing I ever read. I like to hoard them as if they will not be there tomorrow. I feel I would forget all the things I have read, so I must make sure that I write them down (I don’t write quotes from the books/novels that I have bought, cause I have the book itself) And my fear is not unfounded. There was a WordPress blog I used to read, long before I started blogging. I loved that blog. I still remember it. Every word written was sooooo beautiful. But that blog ended up being protected. Thankfully, since I printed up dozens of posts from that blog (yeah I did that, I am that kind of crazy), at least I have something to remember, something to hang on to. Or else it would have all disappeared with all the things my memory can’t hold.
2. I have a tendency to alienate myself. I may have friends and people who love and care for me. But I always think I am burden on others, because of the way I am. I am really moody and will suddenly change my behavior for no apparent reason. I find it hard to talk to people, I have this huge gulf that separates me from this world. It is very difficult to explain it in words. But let’s just say I find life easy to handle when I am on my own. Since I do not have to worry about others and how I might make them suffer directly/indirectly or how I might affect them in negative way.
3. I don’t like to voice my opinions about disliking something. By ‘something’ I mean if I come across a book or a movie or a series or similar stuff, and if I don’t like it, I don’t post reviews or comments about not liking it. I will not even mention about that, until someone else takes up that topic and ask me specifically what is my opinion on that. I have four reasons for that: first, art is pretty subjective and I don’t want to discourage someone only because what they have created is not according to my taste; second, with time as my understanding of the world changes, I end up liking the stuff that I couldn’t before. I can now appreciate it because I can understand it; third, I don’t have time to spend on hating stuff, that is just too tiring, if I don’t like something I just move on to other stuff, no need for all the drama and fourth, I don’t think my opinions matter that much.
4. In contradiction to the point above. If someone has written something or created something and is asking my opinion on it. I can be pretty brutal. I will end up writing essays on it. Most of the stuff I will tell will be pretty disheartening. It is because I think when someone is looking for feedback, it is to improve. But I also tell that what they can do to make it better. Constructive feedback. I specialize in it. 🙂 Some people find it useful, some people find it irritating. But since I won’t open my mouth until they ask me to, so I don’t think people need to worry about that much.
5. In this whole process of writing poems. The two phases I hate most are: that dreadful time before I write and that irritating period after I write. I think I only like the actual process of writing. Before I write, I am pretty much convinced that I will never be able to write anything in my life again and after I write I don’t like what I have written. It is not that I hate my poems, I just think, I am repetitive. I feel I am writing the same thing again and again. But one of the reasons I can upload the poems (that I have no confidence in) is that I have posted worse poems and that means I am improving. I am just curious how much more I can improve.
6. There is a serial called “Zindagi Gulzar Hai” and in that there is this character (protagonist) Kashaf. I feel that I am exactly like her. There is so much similarity, it seemed unreal when I first saw that (because I have seen the serial so many time, I have lost count). Even the kind of things she says.  But the good thing is, I like that character and ended up thinking I may not be as bad as I think I am. I am just being hard on myself. 🙂
7. I spent last night listening to songs of Hope World. The songs are so awesome. Even though I have no clue what the lyrics mean (waiting for lyric videos to upload, what would we do without our precious translators). I know lyrics of only one song out of 7 songs of the mixtape hixtape 🙂 . And Hobi has done such a good job. And since we are on topic of mixtape. I also loved the AGUST D mixtape. I can relate more to the songs of this mixtape.  (Just so you know these are solo mixtape of BTS members. And it may not seem like a fact about me, but it is maybe the only meaningful thing on this list. In fact, this was the first fact I wrote on this list.)

So that is the end of this post. (I hope I didn’t bore you. )

I would like to thank UNIVERSE FIREFLIE  once again who nominated me and have left such lovely comments on so many of my post. Thanks a lot dear. 🙂