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Tag Archives: darkness

“Climb” – Nayana Nair

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Three steps materialize in front of me
every day.
Step 1 : You tell me how you love me.
Step 2 : I believe you.
Step 3: I realize love is not enough.
Love is not cute always
I am losing too much to cherish the love in your heart
After that last step, I see myself fall into the darkness
that binds me to you.
Even though I fall
I clench in my fist
my hatred and mistrust for this world,
for which you suffer.
Everyday I wake up
to these three steps again.
Everyday I choose to climb them,
for you climb those steps with me,
suffer the same as me.
I will climb them everyday till I die.
I will climb them, only for you.

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“Must Run” – Nayana Nair

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running-away

I knew in that moment
that I must run out into the darkness
and find a way
that even the streetlights avoid.
Find a place with no roads
where flowers of new season
will hide my unsure steps.
I knew I had to run away
Or I will never be the same.
So that I don’t loose everything
I (almost) have.
I must run back to that house in wilderness
that I left behind,
to the life I left behind.
So that there are no more graves
of my loved ones
with my name as the murderer engraved.

“Step into the memory” – Nayana Nair

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I sing them a song
in the voice that may soothe their hearts
but fills me with feelings
which are very similar to words
like choke, suffocation and breathlessness.
Though you might not think twice about it,
I know what I have done.
I have walked into the prison that my life was.
But I love myself for taking that step
into the memory of darkness
that cannot actually hurt me.
It is just remains of the hurt that was.
But here I also find remains of ‘me’ that was.
And I am happy for I know
rarely do people get chance
to become what they were, even for a minute.

“Midnight Call” – Nayana Nair

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sleepgirl

There is somewhat
a hesitancy in me
to I pick up the call
at midnight.
The ring sounds different.
It has a shaky sound
immitating the hands
that must be struggling to hold
phone in the very hand
through which countries of stories
have slipped into darkness.
Leaving behind
this person
who must feel like a character
who has lost his story.
And I am afraid
I can’t offer him
the words that can build up his life back,
that can calm his chaotic breathing,
and shuddering heart.
I can’t do it.
Because I was once on the other side
and my hands are still shaking.
I turn around in my bed all night
trying to reassure the only heart
that I can heal.

“Like You” – Nayana Nair

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The corners of the page
where my hand rest,
are smeared with a darkness
that reminds me of you.
And some things in life
are beautiful,
just because they are painful
and sad
and comforting,
just like you.

“Slowly, Regretfully” – Nayana Nair

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I am dissolving in the
ocean that has no water
but only salt.
The salt
that is more closer to this earth
than I am.

feff

I am changing slowly, regretfully,
into a form of your liking.
A form
that feels more belonging in this world
than I ever will.

feff

My heart slips slowly
into the darkness inside.
A darkness
which feels more like home,
more like the freedom
that light had promised.

“In the darkness” – Nayana Nair

dark

I see this small image of me

in my mind’s eye.

In a world filled with black fog,

there in the center stands someone.

Who feels like

my life personified.

I feel I am copy of whoever

stands in that darkness.

I feel I only exist there.

I feel I am the darkness.

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