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“Divide in Two” – Nayana Nair

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This day of unimportant advancement
will probably be the one that we will first forget.
Our hearts will pretend to be sad
to have forgotten all such beautiful harmless days.
We move into the next coming second,
dividing ourself in two.
The one left in past
always has the best,
always suffered the worst,
always surrounded by enviable beauty,
always the hero, the victim, the matyr.
While we go on forward selfishly
only taking what we really are.
Selfishly leaving the parts of us
that can be made glorious
only because if they are left behind.

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“Who seem to know a lot” – Nayana Nair

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Nothing scares me more than people
who seem to know a lot about world,
who seem to know every answer
to every problem.
Especially when the answer
is that the weight and blame of this
collapsing world
only lies on shoulder of few.
And answers mostly revolve about how
not every one is equal.
I urge those people to make their homes in these
boxes of labels that they use as weapon
against people who were just living their own life
and live their life avoiding any thing
that might break their illusion of self-righteousness.
For that is all they have.
Nothing scares me more
than a person who thinks
what he thinks is best for the world,
who thinks that emotions and lives
are disposable things,
in front of the grand plan he has
for himself and this world that only he supposedly owns.

“All the tones”- Nayana Nair

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If I memorized
all the tones that drifted in from
a world of happiness
we are no longer inhabitants of,
the tones that drip ever so slowly
filling our heart with love
and filling our life with pain,
the tone that ripples through
every word I weigh on my tongue.
all the tones
that resonates in me as the wind passes
through the places in my heart
where your laughter once lived,
all the tones
that separate bird cry and bird song.
I think I would find the song we lost,
the song we sought
that we could never hear
in the noise of our shouts.
And though our love is dead
I would like this song
to have a home to rest.
As for our love,
what is lost is probably
lost for best.

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“What I do best” – Nayana Nair

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There is a fierce calmness
that holds me together
even when I think
that I will fall apart.
Seems like falling apart
is not that easy
for those who lived in pieces
that they never knew they had.
So I will turn deaf
to the words of love
that presumes that it knows me.
So I will kill time
with preaching words of self-love
that I struggle with everyday.
I will fill myself with the stars above
And I will learn to live
and learn to die.
And wait with dread
for the day I’ll feel complete.
I don’t want to be complete.
I know how to be broken.
Being broken is what I do best.

“To all troubled hearts” – Nayana Nair

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All I ever wanted,
was to reach out to heart like yours
and let you know
that I know how tiring life is,
how exhausted one becomes
trying to keep hope alive.
Everyone lives their life
as per their own capacity.
And I wanted you to know
that you have given best
to this life.
And you couldn’t have done a better job.
All I wanted was for my words
to reach troubled hearts
like yours, like mine.
Everyday
I write the reasons that I live for
on my wrist.
Everyday
I remind myself why I am here.
Remind yourself
why you are here.

hope

“Name It” -Nayana Nair

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Though you have bought me happiness

that I was not looking for.

While I felt that all the world was too cold

and I would soon be part of this ice.

That my heart will freeze into

this space my life has trapped me in.

How warm was your presence

You could never know.

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Though I have gone out of my way

to ensure your happiness.

And sat waiting for you.

Waiting, and not knowing , whether you’d come.

Cause there have been too many days, that you don’t.

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I had to remind myself time and again

not to forget,

how to find my way back home on my own.

And when I looked at you

as if my life revolved around you.

How I hated myself for it.

Cause there is still a part of me

that is cold.

And with you, I have come to know worse things

than being cold.

Is that why I can’t name it?

Name what we have between us.

Afraid that if I utter the word ‘love’

our heart would pain a little more,

knowing what we are losing.

Afraid that this is the best life can offer us,

best what we can offer each other

And knowing each second

that this is not good enough for both of us.

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